Just An Update

Fuyoo..lama tinggal blog ni. Does blog post relevant nowadays?? I rasa macam blogpost ni more to syok sendiri je kan?? More to update for self reading & record. Trend baca blog dah makin pupus rasnaya. Like myself, i dah tak kuasa dah nak baca blog..apatah lagi nak update blog sendiri. But still, pabila teringat, jadi teringin plak nak update harini. Just a short updates. Will do it in points:

• My Aidan dah exceeded 1 year milestone. Dah boleh jalan terkedek2 dan lari juga terkedek2. Makin clingy and kepo and curious. Masih suka layan katun especially nursery rhymes songs. I love baby at this age, so montok, so squishy and they are responsive now. 

• Bulan puasa ni makanan makin mahal kannn? Haritu gi beli makanan bebuka (pasal tak masak), habis RM50 plus jugak la untuk whole family makan. Aishh...makan kat restoran tomyam lagi murah kottt. Kuih pun kecik-kecik, jual 3 for RM2. Takleh la selalu melayan beli kat bazar ramadhan. Dah jadi surirumah ni kena rajin2 la masak yeee. Kadang tu bosan gak taktau masak apa, teringin makan nasi kerabu la..nasi beriyani la...nasi arab la..so kena la beli kan, i taktau masak semua tuuu.  

• So far my 7 y.o daughter dapat puasa penuh tanpa drama. Last year macam2 drama kena layan, but hanya ponteng few days. Hopefully she can finish her 30 days fasts this year.  

• Why there are sooo many raya sales niii. Online shopping ni memang dangerous betul. Luckily i ni size besar, so banyak baju takde size. Jadi kalau cantik pun mampu tengok je. Rahmat jugak kan plus size ni. Hahahaha. But habis jugak duit tuuu gi beli tudung, telekung, kids clothes (H&M had a massive online sales, 1 baju RM16 je!!) and cosmetics. 

• This year raya kat Sarawak. Means boleh melantak kek sarawak!! Tomorrow balik Aor Star, kalau raya kat Sarawak, we will sure balik berpuasa kat Alor Star because best puasa kat sana. Banyak makanan sedap and the bazar ramadhan is the best..macam2 ada, sedap, accessible and cheaper. Cakap banyak tak guna, orang Kedah tau la noh!

• Recently we celebrated our 11th year wedding anniversary. Dah 11 tahun menempuh alam perkahwinan, naik turun dari segi ekonomi, from apartment to landed house, from kelisa to alza mpv, from me working to me being work from home mom and now 3 healthy kids. Alhamdulillah for all the experience & gifts. Nak cerita bab perkahwinan ni, takde siapa ada experience yang sama, betul tak? Kalau nak cerita kat orang pasal marriage kita memang takkan yang faham totally because it is emotionally exclusive between you and your husband. People can relate but not one can say yes i have the same marriage as yours. No, it is impossible. My point is, your marriage is what you build & evolve with your love ones, so jangan la compare dengan marriage orang yang you nampak kat social media or dari ceritanya. Believe me, there are backstories that every marriage has to endure to be great. For me, Alhamdulillah..so far takde ujian yang belum mampu handle.

Ok that's all lah. Kalau rajin, lepas raya la update ye..with pictures. Selamat berpuasa semua! 

Being sentimental

I have told you all that now i am working from home right? So i am slave to my kids now. Everyday nak pikir apa nak bagi depa makan. Like today, Adam kena pegi sekolah awal, so kenala masak lunch awal. Tapi alangkah leganya dia cuma nak toasted egg sandwich. Kalau tak memang kena bersilat awal sikit untuk sediakan satu lauk for their lunch. Kalau masak lauk untuk anak-anak ni semuanya ikut taste diorang. Tak pedas. I am a spicy eater. Memang tak lalu sangat la nak makan nasi dengan lauk tak pedas. So i end up just makan untuk isi perut, since tengah pregnant kena la makan jugak kan. I think that is the reason my weight doesn't increases that much this time. On my last 2 pregnancy i gained almost 20kg tau! But this time, at 6 months i only gained 3kg. Baguih la jugak macam tu. Badan pun asal macam peti ais dah, kalau tambah lagi jenoh laaa nak kurangkan lepas beranak nanti. Umur pun dah lanjut, metabolisme dah slow!

Basically being a housewife, most of my time adalah melayan anak-anak, especially yang girl tu. I think she will be my bff. Everyday kena layan kerenah dia, since she only attend half day school. Dia buka kedai makan kita la customer, dia bukan kedai runcit kita jugak customer, dia buka klinik kita jugak la pesakit (dah banyak kali dah dia keluarkan baby dari perut i) dan kalau dia main playdoh kita jugak la kena bagi idea suruh dia buat apa. Kalau dia diam tu means she is with her tab watching youtube videos. To lessen her youtube time, i try to engage her in activity. Beli some art & crafty stuff untuk dia, atau bagi jela water color, kertas & gunting, leka la kejap dia buat keja. Kalau rajin we bake cake.Kalau lagi rajin, bawak la dia keluar gi makan ice cream.

Bila anak depan mata we become very very concern if we don't do enough for them. I always worried. Selalu pikirkan, sampai bila my kids akan mengharapkan i. When they are no longer dependent on me, i will sure miss it. Sampai bila diorang will come to me and tell story of their day and ask silly questions? The day will come when they only want be in their room and no longer need our assistance. Will i be sad? Now when they still need me, i try my best to layan them every possible way. Walaupun anak-anak i ni suka merepek bila bercerita, layan je laaaa.

Panjang pulak merepek. I inspired to type this post when i was having roti canai with my eldest and dia mintak suapkan pasal taknak kotorkan tangan bila baca komik. Time tu pikirkan, they will come a time when my boy dah segan nak manja macam ni. Every little thing counts as memory. Oh i hope i am not the only one being sentimental here. I pray my kids will think of me, my time spend with them even though they no longer need me. Sigh, I guess it is my pregnancy hormones making me overly sentimental.

When They Are Gone

  As you all would have known, i pernah lost someone very dear & close to me. My brother, died at such young age of 18 to a serious & incurable illness. I was so devastated and distraught. Even till now i avoid to think much about it especially about his long term hospitalization and suffering.

But losing someone and gone through all the devastations and sad phase has thought me lots. It change my perspective in life. It is true that Allah give us trials to make us learn. Semua ada hikmah, whether you realize it or not. 

I wish to share with you all what i learn result from this. I hope they are beneficial.

• Grief. I no longer thinks that people who grief at funerals are weak or people who doesn't are pious. For instance, when my brother passed away, i am among my family that cried less at the hospitals or funerals. Not because i am pious or stronger than the rest. It is because i just not good at showing emotion in public unless dah tak boleh tahan. But when i cry, i really really cry intensively just to let it out from my system. I cried alone in my room, in the toilet, when everyone is asleep. I cried everytime my brother conditions deteriorate, when my mother called me crying, when my brother in comma, when the first time i found out he was no longer with us. See, everybody grief in their own space & time, some do it in public and you see them constantly breakdown and cry. And some like me. So now, when i see someone grief, i just pat her/his back and say 'it's ok, let it out, cry' not the usual 'be strong, sabar' because the sooner you get over the crying & grieving phase you will  fee better and stronger. Please let them cry, we are not robot. 

•  Material. When someone dies, after all the funeral and burial we are left with their possessions. The older someone dies, the more stuff he/she accumulated. Same thing with my late brother. Because he was still young, a student and still live with my parents, the things that he left us are mostly clothes & books. As i gone through all of his stuff & notes it made me realized that all the material things you accumulated when you are alive are useless when you died. All the designer bags, posh cars, fancy clothes, expensive gadgets or your hobby are 100% invaluable to you and whoever inherit them won't appreciate it as much as you do. So why we obsess with them so much? Now, i try to avoid accumulating stuff that i 'think' i will use or buy things just because i like them but not beneficial whatsoever. And i also will not give any sentimental value on any material, which makes throwing your stuff when they are no longer in use easier.

•  Rituals. As a muslim, when someone passed away we have kenduri tahlil & recites Yassin. After that we will constantly do doa for the dead and sedekah bacaan al-quran, hoping that the dead will benefits from it. I believe, the only things that matters to afterlife of a dead person is the doa & deeds of their children (whatever good deeds & value we have thought them) and all the sedekah & charity we did when we alive. Others like kenduri tahlil, baca yasin, baca al-fatihah has no proves to be beneficial to the dead but just rituals. Anyhow, good things done will be granted pahala to the doer. I think we human always feels like we have to do something to the dead and actually gives therapy to the grieving family. This man-created rituals are more for the living than the dead. Don't burden the family for kenduri if they chose not to. Like when you recited yassin or al-fatihah in front of the grave. It is really unnecessary, you can recites it at home and it still beneficial. Grave is not a shrine where you pray, it is just a memorial. But.....let the grieving family do it anyway. Let them do all the tahlil and recitals and grave visits as much as they want. As long it is not syirik, just let them do it. This has made my mak feels better. It helps her feel connected. It helped her move on and hang to something because losing a son too soon is hurtful & the sadness is incurable. She still visits my brother's grave every friday and talk to the tombstone and cried each time till now, even after 4 years.

•  Thankful. Always be thankful even during your lowest points. There are always things to be thankful for. Experience of seeing sick people lying helplessly on the bed makes my boring everyday routine seems major. Even you don't have money, look at your body all limbs attached perfectly, look at your kids all healthy & happy, look outside to see how peaceful the place you live in. When my brother was sick, he couldn't walk, in diapers, no appetite to eat, right there and then i feel insaf of what i took for granted all these time. Even being able to go to toilet everyday i thank Allah. Those simple things are the one value to us that money can't buy.You can simply thankful you are still alive, because you can still do good deeds, be beneficial to community and repents on your wrongdoing before you lie dead and everything are accountable within you and God. Now i seldom complain about life, i am more optimistic because i know somewhere someone who would want to switch life with me. So whenever i heard someone complains 'My life is hard' i have the itch to reply her/him 'Compare to what??'

The point of this post is not to preach. Not to prove i am expert in anything. Just to share from my perspective. I thought death was far from me before i lost my brother, now i always be reminded of it. Alhamdulillah for this trial, Allah take my love ones and lend me some wisdom to hold on to. I really hope my sharing beneficial for you.

p.s: I find the book 'Reclaim You Heart' by Yasmin Mogahed to be very useful in life. Makes you think of your priority in life and what really matters. Please read it, you sure won't regret it.

Cinema Cinema Cinema

Do you remember the TV show Cinema! Cinema! Cinema! ?? If you are about my age, an 80's child and love to watch movies, probably you are familiar with the show. I love that show, it review latest Hollywood films and there were list of top 10 chart of best film. I suka sangat tengok movie. My bapak selalu bawak pegi cinema tengok latest film and we also always rent lots of videos. Now dah pupus dah kedai sewa video ni, since pirated vcd/dvd is easily accessible and cheaper.

 Anyway, i always enjoy a good movie and they lifted up my mood and some movie even educate me, makes me think and widen my thoughts. Besides reading, tengok movie pun boleh jadi educational tau..but depends on what movie you tengok la kan. By watching movie we can learn other cultures in other countries and how they perceive & handle certain issues, which are way different than us. In order to learn through movies, and avoid stereotypes (stereotype: a simple standard conception you conclude by just watching) you have to watch different genre and avoid la those slapstick comedy punya, because that is just pure entertainment. 

Sebenarnya i nak share good movies yang i tengok lately. Memang bagus and recommended kalau you want to enjoy really good movie. Here are my favourite latest movie. Ada yang dah show kat local cinema, ada yang belum dan  ada yang kena banned from cinema Malaysia. I tengok these movies on the net ja, streaming or download. 

Apart from the flamboyant 70's fashion, ridiculous wigs and comb-over, this movie is funny and entertaining. Cerita pasal conman. 2 partner in crime(chrisian bale & amy adams) yang keja diorang tipu duit orang, tried to con their way out of from FBI agent (Bradley Cooper) who arrested them. Cara diorang nak selamatkan diri ni memang entertaining. Anddd...Jennifer Lawrence was excellence playing her part as an annoying and over-bearing wife of Christian Bale. I rasa, movie ni best pasal semua actors best. Worth your time!

Movie ni memang lawak. Bukan comedy sangat tapi lawak due to the douchebag characters  and tamak duit. Based on true story of Jordan Belfort yang menjadi kaya raya hasil jual saham/tipu duit orang. Semua ni pasal terlebih bijak dan suka sangat duit. Life dia memang revolves around money and girls. Memang bestla, because there were a lot of funny scenes that shows how stupid the riches can be. Cara penyampaian cerita memang bagus, respect to the director. I really hope Leonardo wins an Oscar this time, kesian kat dia. Pandai berlakon tapi takdak award.Tengokla, from this movie you'll learn that you can sell almost anything if you have the skill. 

 Pain & Gain. This is comedy. Based on true story as well. Cerita pasal 3 orang fitness instructor yang agak bodoh dan noob, nak culik orang kaya just because they were fed up of being poor and dream of luxurious lifestyle. Dah nama pun comedy, macam tengok 3 stooges nak buat crime. They were amateurs, they thought kidnapping and cover up crime were as easy as in movie. Tapi hakikatnya memang fail. It amazed me that they managed to go far before being caught and almost escape it . To know why and how, you all kena tengok movie ni. Memang tak kering gusi gelak. 

Oh my..this movie memang buat i senyum je, sweet sangat cerita dia. I hardly watch love movie because tak banyak pun love movies shown, dan kalau ada pun, most of them are cliche. Cerita macam tak logik sket, it is about time travel. The hero can travel times, but only within his life stream. His aim in life is to find true love and when he met with the girl of his dream, he makes sure he gets her. This means that he travels trhough and back just to perfect his relationship. Why i rasa cerita ni sweet? The hero character is really sweet. Very very loving and sincere. You can't help it but wish you partner would be the same. Tengokla movie ni kalau nak rasa best like what i felt. If you don't believe me, go and watch the trailer at youtube and read the comments. 

Movie pasal orang kaya jugak. Tapi orang kaya nyanyuk. Cate Blanchet (marvelous actress), plays a widow who suddenly became broke. Dulu golongan bangsawan, billionaire pasal kawin dengan orang kaya. In the end husband kena tangkap pasal tipu duit orang and committed suicide in the jail. She was left alone, with no money and have no choice but to live with his stepsister whom she been avoiding all these while. Rupanya dengan pressure hidup and sudden change in life, has made her senile. Very interesting story. It makes you think what actually happiness in life is.

Prisoners is a movie to set you in thinking mode. What would you do if given the same situation. Desperate and want answers. In Prisoners, a father take matters in his own hands when her daughter been kidnapped. Ah, memang put you in the edge of the seat because you pun desperate nak tau sapa kidapper tu. Highly recommended! 

Ok enough lah with 6 movie reviews. I hope you watch them, and enjoy it as much as i did. Ada lagi movie yang best but i belum tengok. I am yet to watch Dallas Buyers Club, 12 Years Of Slaves, Philomena. Next time i recommends some tv shows/drama that i been followed. If you have the same taste as mine, stay tune!

Dreams

Every each of us have our own dreams. No matter how much you have, you'll secretly want something that you can't have. Me included. Lots of what if and not on my mind. Discussing about dreams and everything according to our desire would be endless. I am talking about dreams here, something i wish for if i ever have the luxury to realize it. Not that i am not grateful for what i have now, believe me i am always forever grateful with everything that going on in my life. Back to the topic, i want to share some of my dreams, that i think would forever be a dream unless i change 360 degrees of my life, which is unlikely!

I hate my job. As you been told before, my work involves stock market and everything financial minus the accounting. I hate finance and everything that associate with it. In this industry i can't be creative, everything is figures, graph, facts & numbers. I only got myself to blame since i study accounts & finance due to lack of guidance what to study and follow the flows, ignorance of what my future & career will be like with a degree in Business Finance. My truly dream jobs is to be involved in anything that matters. I like to be "the behind the scene elves".  Someone who works the magic but not really aim to be famous or recognition from public. Doesn't mind for what cause or event. Maybe i should be in creative industry. Maybe i can be an event organizer or a wedding/party planner. But...my not so secret dream job is to be a person who do voice over for cartoons. Alaa...macam alih suara or dub suara untuk watak katun. I am expert in making weird voices y'know! LOL! I don't like desk job and have normal job like most people. I want to be busy with my thing that the end result i can see and makes me proud. I am in my 30's now, i guess it is too late to pursue my dreams. I only have one dream job left that seems possible. Start my own business. To be financially independent and quit 9-5 jobs. Working on it now. Dare i leave my comfort zone and face the cruel business word? Allahualam!

To live in my dream home. Not necessary big. I don't dream of big bungalow house with 10 bedrooms. Apartment with ample space for activities is sufficient enough. What's important is the interior is according to my taste and also clean & neat! I want a cute & comfy house to come home to. All my stuff will be organized. My kids can have their own playroom and enough space to store their massive toys neatly. My husband can have his own room to do what he always do on the computer. My kitchen would be cute & neat with the convenience & practicality to cook or do whatever people do in the kitchen. Senang cite, i would like an interior that comes straight from IKEA catalog! Ain't that lovely? Unless i found a tree that can grows money, this is only remain as dreams. Now i just have to settle with my cute enough apartment and count the blessings that i still have a roof to shelter my family.

Travels. This associated to money as well. Also time & the freedom to do so. I always envy those people that been sponsored to travel. Or their job involves traveling. Travel for free is such a bliss! Okla nevermind the travel for free thing. Now with all the cheap flights, i actually can afford to travel IF i travel alone, left my kids. Well, i won't have the heart to do so. Actually i got a trip to Bandung in May with my colleagues & mak, without my kids & husband. First time to left them, not sure what i would feel later. This won't be a frequent things, only 1 or 2 trips tinggal them ok la. But to pursue my travelling dreams alone and left my love ones, i tak sanggup. That is why this remains as dream till i got lots of money or my husband is, to bring the whole family travels around the world without worries.

Enoughla kan. Share 3 of my major dreams is sufficient. Other dreams are utterly rubbish that involves my limitless imaginary. Hahahaha..! Like i mentioned before, i am happy with my current life. I have a simple life and every now and then still can realize my mini dreams such as makan sedap..hahahaha. What are your dreams? Mind to share? :)

Note to husband

Women who are married with kid(s) is a tough job. Tambahan pulak kalau bekerja. Having a supporting husband who are always willing & understand really helps alot! I got this from The Pink Stilettos blog. I agreed with all the 5 points women want to hear from their husband:

• “You don’t need to cook tonight. I’ll make us dinner and do the dishes”.

• “Here’s RM1,000. Go buy that Zara tops and shoes that you have been eyeing on”.

• “Let me look after the kids. You go have some rest”.

• “I love your ____ (insert whatever things you love about her. Eg: smile, hair, eyes, laugh, etc)“.

• “You’re the best wife a man could ever have”.

It is true right? Lagi best if our husband do this without us demanding it. Well...in my case, my husband taklah loving sangat utters those words to me. Die pun ignorant gak macam (most) laki  lain. But can still tolerate lah on some issues. Let me evaluate him based on the 5 points:

• He is not a cooker. Paling terer masak burger, so memang tak expect la dia offer to cook. And he usually tak demand i cook for him if i don't have the mood to. Kalau cook pun just a simple dish. Some points on that. But i really wish he would offer to clean the plates when i do the cooking :)

• Unless there are special occasions (ie;birthday, anniversary, bonus), he won't offer me money to shop. Especially to shop at expensive shop like Zara and buy stuff i don't need but want. Memang kalau teringin beli apa, even baju raya sekali pun i guna duit sendiri je. But nama pun 'words we want to hear from husband' kan, so kalau sekali sekala husband cakap nak sponsor, Alhamdulillah kecik tapak tangan satu trolley saya tadahkan. Hahahaha!

• Yang ni selalu my husband buat if i kena gi office kerja or i got some errands to do. But i don't think he minds to jaga our kids if i want to hang out with my friends or go to spa. Just that i jarang tinggal my kids to have my own personal time. Paling kurang pun mesti bawak hero sorang tu as body guard. And yes, he can and always willing to take care of the kids. Full points for that! 

• Hmmm..ayat puji memuji wife ni memangla husband i takkan cakap punyalah, unless letak pistol kat kepala kot. Hahahaha. He is not the type of guy yang rendahkan ego tu puji perempuan. It was one of the reasons i attracted to him last time (because i hate lelaki jiwang yang suka puji perempuan). But now that i am his wife, nak jugak dengar ayat puji dari die. It means something if it comes from husband because only Allah knows how i'll do anything to please him. Kalau kutuk memang no.1 la. Nyampah i!

• Macam point kat atas. He would never utters those word to me. Kalau dia cakap mungkin i akan cek dua tiga kali kot pasal takut dia demam ke apa ke. Mungkin one day i will hear this words from him because maybe now i may not be the best wife for him yet! But, i really hope i am! Am i?

Okla saja je buat points ni for fun. Nanti my husband keluarkan pulak point die, terkesima i! I am not a perfect wife to begin with but i am trying to be one, atleast an ideal one for my husband. Afterall he is my husband, i accept him for what he is. There is a quote i once read 'If you have 100 criteria for your partner, you can at least tick for yourself 99 of them". We are human with flaws. May we always improving for the better. 

How To Be Likeable

Some people are simply not likeable kan? Something about them yang annoying and simply cannot tahan by others. Some do not even realized they are not likable or wondering what's wrong that others don't like them. For me, i think i am quite likeable. Not to brag but so far i don't have problem with others around me. Taktaula kot ada yang mengata belakang but i can safely say no, i don't have that problem. Those yang penah mengata belakang (which i knew about it eventually) are the one that do not know me well or tak penah pun rapat dengan i. Contohnya kalau i first masuk keja orang cakap i ni eksyen or something (due to my smugly face), tapi bila dah kenal kamceng pulak dah. If you know me, you'll eventually will like me..hahahaha. Perasan sungguh!

Through school, varsity and work life memang i am surrouded with friends yang awesome gila. No drama what so ever pasal i tak suka you tak suka i. We compramise & have tolerant with each other. I even won The Most Outgoing Senior at my school due to my versatility to mingle with everybody. I don't care about your race, religion, background, style or whatever, as long as you tak annoying dan poyo i akan friend-friend dengan you. Tak suka drama or like to create one, hate it! I ni kalau berkawan malas nak take personal on anything. Even if you might talk bad about that person, i won't take it hard and still be friend with that person without any prejudice unless i personally experience it from them.

I believe to be likeable is not a skill learned, you can't fake it. It is your personality and how you act or response to your surroundings. But how to be likebale? Here are some points that can help you:

1) Don't be negative. Nothing puts me off than a negative person. Apa kita cakap or suggestions yang diberi ada ja ayat potong yang dikeluarkan. Lama-lama sure orang dah nyampah. A negative person effects the mood of people around you tau. So macam mana lah orang nak suka you kan?

2) Be attentive to others. Friendship is not only about you, mostly about others. Kalau kawan you tu bercerita avoid la divert conversations tu to be about you instead. I ada kenal sorang ni, kalau orang bercerita especially about something great about herself this person mesti ada tunjuk one kind of mimik muka mcm tak suka. Entahla kenapa dia perlu macam tu. Then she will either give no response to the good story, or just give a short emotionless comment or even worse change the topic to be about her. Haih..susah orang yang ada penyakit hati macam ni. Be happy for others and they will do the same for you too. Tak rugi pun kan?

3) No expectations. Kalau berkawan, when you do any favour, may it be involving money or kind gestures, please dont expect any in return or give high expectation that the other person will do the same to you one day. Buatlah dengan ikhlas kerana Allah, pasti Allah akan balas dengan cara lain. For example if you help A, but one day when you got problems don't expect A to do the same, but insyaAllah B or C or D will help you. Have faith in Allah, for He will send help to you in any way or form He desires, just be sincere. I selalu amalkan ni, and Alhamdulillah tak pernah ada problem yang takde siapa sudi tolong or susah nak settle. People will be comfortable to be with you if you just be neutral and expects nothing from them.

4) Moody. Kalau ada masalah kat rumah or takde duit or runsing jangan terbawak-bawak sangat. Sampai effect mood orang lain. Geram dengan laki kat umah, datang keja muka masam hempas-hempas barang tunjuk perasaan. Orang yang tak bersalah langsung terus efek dengan mood bangang you tu. Please don't do that, kesian your friends. Or you buat muka masam bad mood, diam sepanjang hari macam satu dunia dah buat salah dengan you. Your problem is yours, you want to let it out, share with your friends. Kalau taknak share jangan hukum diorang terpaksa tahan dengan your immature attitude. Like me, i jenis yang boleh 'On' & 'Off' my feelings so that i tak effect orang lain dan orang tak tanya kenapa. For me, thinking and dragging about one problem doesn't solve anything. Either you do something about it or let it slip away. Orang memang benci nak tengok muka bad mood you tu because most probably orang tak kisah pun apa masalah you, all they want is for you to just get out from their face.

5) Kecik hati or sensitive. Haih..orang macam ni memang susah.How la to expect people to like you if you take personal of anything people might say to you. Kita berkawan dengan ramai, different background & personality. Janganla expect semua ni jenis nak jaga hati you because sometime diorang tak tahu pun you sensitif. I grow up with family that make fun and throw harsh comments on each other. Dah numb dah nak amik hati or being sensitive. I only sensitive with my husband which is totally fine because he suppose to adore and love me (hahaha). So my advise is, tolong jangan terasa sangat dan faham. Kalau benda remeh temeh pun nak terasa tak tentu pasal, chances is even your love ones pun akan bosan eventually, lets avoid that ya!

I bagi 5 points je la. Actually banyak lagi, but those are the utmost important keys on being likable by others. Ha one more thing, don't try too hard to please others so that you are more likable. Like i told you, you can't fake it, sampai bila you nak fake to please others if you tak sincere kan? Change attitude, nilai diri sendiri, kalau ada seorang lagi tak suka mesti ada beberapa orang lagi yang tak suka cuma diorang tak kejam nak tunjuk. My principle is, kalau hidup nak senang jangan amik kisah hal remeh temeh yang menyusahkan diri and be positive.




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Ramadhan coming!!

Puasa officially starts tomorrow...yayy! So excited because tonight i will be going to terawih prayers! After sooo long tak pegi (sejak kahwin y'know, and i been married for 6 yrs!) I forgot how to recite niat solat terawih and solat witir. Just googled it, nasib ringkas je niat die. Nasib berjemaah, so takdela rasa bodoh sangat. My husband jaga my kids, since dia malas nak pegi terawih. Waa..excited nya! The only regret is that i did not buy new telekung. Yang ada sekarang agak kusam. Takpe, will buy them soon. Eh do you know that terawih prayer actually good for your health as well? Yela..lepas you melantak dan minum air bergelen, performing terawih actually helps your body to digest them. I memang berjaya turun berat badan dengan jayanya dan perut takdela macam nak pecah sepanjang malam. Yes, i memang buruk lantak di kala bulan puasa! Or mungkin pasal surau kat rumah i dulu takde aircond so berpeluh basah satu baju bila solat..hehehe. But now they already installed air-cond..Alhamdulillah!

Most mak-mak dah plan dah kepala otak nak hidang ape untuk sahur esok. Me? No plan, tak dak idea pun nak masak apa. Fridge pun belum stock up barang nak masak. During fasting month memang nak beli sikit-sikit je kat bazaar and occasionally will cook, especially during weekend. Malas nak kalut-kalut balik keja masak semua and paling malas of all is to clean up after that which will include scrubbing the kuali, wipe the stove & cabinets, wash the dishes and probably mop the floor as well. Story about chores ni pun i dah rasa letih. Leceh la, then have to kalut solat maghrib and rush to surau for terawih. Not including in between anak kacau mintak itu ini..haissyy..letih la you olls!

Adam will also puasa. He been asking frequently when he can start puasa. Nape entah excited sangat. Won't force him to. If he is willing i'll just let him puasa, if not i also won't be mad. He actually started puasa last year. Proud of him. The only problem is how it is to wake him up for sahur..liat bangun for sure! And lagi haru kalau lepas sahur tu he don't wanna sleep, means he sure will be tired to school. Lagi la letih kalau tak cukup tido while fasting kan? Hmm...we'll see how it goes.

Another plan of mine is to recite Al-Quran after sahur while waiting for subuh prayers. Selalunya tengok tv je in between time tu. On normal days i recite Quran after isya' prayer, so since nak gi terawih mesti dah tak baca. I really..really hope i can do whatever i planned. To gain more pahala during this holy months!

So what is your plan? Apart from what to eat for iftar? Or what to wear for raya? Or what kuih raya to make/order? It is all about good deeds my darling, for a moment, take this 30 days chance to devote yourself on spiritual aspects and be a better muslim/muslimah. Together we make the most of our Ramadhan! InsyaAllah.

Cry Movie

Remember the Movie Ombak rindu? Was a hit last time. I seldom layan malay movie but i couldn't resist not watching Ombak Rindu. Orang rata-rata cakap best so i yang perasan hipster ni ofcourse curious nak tengok jugak kan. So i did watched them. Not in cinema but i downloaded them from youtube. Hmmm...as usual, malay movie ni memang indah khabar dari rupa. Tak best langsung and very slow & mellow, not my cup of tea. Most people said sedih la, menangis la but i tak dapat part mana perlu nangis. Bila sampai part mellow or sedih i macam tak sabar for it to be over because too dragging, and not supposedly sad plus the background music is so annoying (macam suara hantu pun ada). Maybe sensitive spot orang lain-lain kot. I don't get it some of you got it.

Okla, i actually want to share some movie that made me cry. What scene that touches my heart and keluarkan air mata jantan i (ada ke air mata jantan??) The reason i make this post is because yesterday i watched Desperate Housewives on TV. It was an episode where Mike (Susan's husband) been shot and died. They were reminiscing good moments with Mike and it made them sad. Me, with my experience losing my dear brother, i cried. Maybe because what they said about someone dying and not being able to see him again in their life got me because it was what i really felt when i lost my brother. So here are some movie that i cried to. Yang i still ingat la.


A Walk To Remember

Love story. Adapted from a book. Kisah pasal young love. If i tell you that it is about a girl with cancer, be friended with the most popular guy in school and soon the guy fell for her, mesti you ingat ala cerita biasa la tu, so cliche. Well, you have to watch that movie first. It is a beautiful love story. So beautiful that, i cried when they finally got married. Sedih tau! hehehehe..i watch this movie so many times and it still gets me.


P.S I Love You

Again, love story adapted from story book. Ni cerita dia lagi best. Not so cliche la. A woman, grieving on her husband's death due to cancer. All these while she did not realized that she relied on her husband on most things and when he is gone she was helpless and devastated. Her husband knew better, before he died he left several letters for her wife to read. Each letter is a guidance to her wife to move on. So loving i tell you! I cried when she reminisce the good moments of how her husband took care of her and love her. Haih, memang meleleh la air mata.


Armageddon

You all mesti tau movie ni kan. Memangla movie ni action movie. But part yang Bruce Willis sacrificed to switch place with Ben Affleck memang moment yang sangat syahdu bagi i, especially went his daughter Liv Tyler flashback good moments with her father in few seconds. Air mataku bejujuran mengalir tiap kali tiba part tu!

Forrest Gump

I first watched this movie when i was very young. Watched in cinema with my dad. Ada few moments dalam movie tu yang menyayat hati. I ni memang ada soft spot dgn watak orang bendul or autism. Kalau you bagi i tengok cite pasal austism or terencat akal, bila sampai part sedih most of the time i akan nangis. Maybe watak orang macam tu macam suci je, so i got sensitive when they are sad. Anyway, this movie particularly is one of the best movie i ever watched.


The Lovers

This is a chinese movie. Cinta antara dua darjat. Set in the ancient times, ala time zaman dulu-dulu where chinese men simpan rambut panjang, pandai kung fu terbang-terbang semua. The love story is so sad. About  this poor guy, met this girl in an all boys school. That girl is from rich family (keluarga bangsawan), was sent to study at all boys school (because that time women not suppose to go to school) and disguise as a boy. So jumpa la mamat miskin ni, become friends and soon the girl fell in love with him and revealed herself. So this young love finished study and hoping to marry each other. Well, dah nama pun antara dua darjat kan, ofcourse la family girl tu tak bagi. To add more drama this guy mati (lepas kena belasah). To cut story short, this girl in the end mati jugak on the day she was suppose to marry a man her family chose for her. Haih memang syahdu gila la jalan cite dia. Early part of the story quite funny, cute and syok je tengok the couple. Maybe also because these two couple have chemistry. Half towards the end memang berendam air mata la. Even when i sleep i teringat balik cerita ni i nangis lagi. Over kan? Well, that was when i was still in high school...jiwa belum kental lagi. Hahahaha!

Those are all the movie i can remember crying over. Most are love story. I enjoy good love story that touches my heart. Like i said, different people have different sensitivity. Ada yang tengok Ombak Rindu nangis, ada tengok katun pun nangis.  Now tell me, what movie made you cry?

My Thoughts In Bullet Points

When i am too lazy to blog but still bother to share, i will make a bullet point post. So here we go:

• Currently layan Revenge (drama series). Good also la, quite interesting but kinda expected sometime. Belum sampai climax lagi so i guess worth my time to wait & layan. Oh and i also just finished layan Once Upon A Time (Season 1) on Astro. That one was good because i always love fairy tales. Rasanya budak sekarang ni layan fairy tales lagi tak? I do sometime reads story book to my kids but i don't think they really get it that it was a fairy tales..or do they? Hmmm...

• Ramadhan a.k.a puasa month is coming. Somehow i get a bit excited. Tak tahu kenapa. Determined to go for terawih as often as i can. Since ada anak tak pernah pegi terawih dah..teruk kan? And kuih raya is everywhere now especially on FB. Kalau i beli pun mungkin makan time bulan puasa je kot!

• Haihh..i stopped exercising for almost a month now. When you stop that long it is hard to start back right? Need more motivation! As if being fat is not enough motivation for me! Last time i cycled or trained with Nike+ (on ipad) thrice a week. Sweat like hell and felt good about it. But now....makan je lebih..perut macam santa clause dah! Haiiihhhh....

• My daughter Dania very cheeky & naughty now. Tak macam perempuan! Like to menjawab bila kita tegur, cubit or gigit her brother kalau ada benda tak puas hati, suka buang barang, suka panjat and do what other boys usually do, means follow what her brother does. But ada jugakla girly traits yang lekat. Like she loves to wear my shoes and tuk..tak..tuk..tak around the house and very caring towards baby.

• Are you happy? I am happy. Happy not having everything i want but feel 'cukup' with what i have right now. May it be material, relationship or spiritual. I am content. If i want to improve i only have to improve what within me not with what other's expectation of me. I think everyone should feel like this. Your endless desire & nafsu will only kill your spirit and make you sad. 

A Bad Blogger

I am a bad blogger. I admit that i started this blog just for me to merepek and record events but other than that my blog is not interesting to read at all! Yela, i created this blog bukan for others baca or nak popular but i suka baca interesting blog with great contents. But my blog? Bleergghhh....melalut ja, nak baca pun malas. I realized i am better at telling story personally than composing them. Real life cerita boleh add effect and mimik muka. Kalau compose a blog you have to really have the right words & sentence to describe your feeling or readers can't get your point & emotions. 

Here i list down why i am a bad blogger:

• Tak pandai nak compose an interesting story into an interesting story to read & enjoy. Faham tak? Some people have a gift of composing a simple story into a elaborations of interesting ones. Cerita keluar pegi shopping pun seems exciting bila dia cerita. While me, nak compose memang tak sampai niat kekadang tu. Karangan kat skolah dulu pun markah selalu tak tinggi. Tapi i love reading because i love to read words that strings together to make a beautiful story. That's why la nak feeling-feeling gitu tapi end up jadi cerita boring yang diri sendiri sahaja yang faham. Hahahaha...

• Not spontaneous enough to take pictures. A post is not interesting without any pictures. I admire those blogger that manage to snap all their activities and blog about them. For example the famous & beautiful blogger Vivy . She always manage to have someone snap her during any moments, tak kisah la yang momentous or tak. Gambar tengah tension, tengah gaduh, tengah makan, all are taken candidly...as if she has a photographer stand by to snap every little things she did. Then she will post a funny picture and blog about it. I also very shy to snap picture in public especially tengah shopping or tetiba nampak benda interesting nak snap..tapi i malu youuu...segan! Fear of people saw me and said 'isk jakunnya budak ni, tu pun nak amik gambar'. But when the other bloggers did it and blog about it rasa macam natural je kan?

• I am lazy & busy. These 2 reason are strong enough. No need to elaborate.

• My life not interesting enough. My life revolves around my work which is boring and my family, which is mundane. I work in stock market industry, sure you won't want me to bore you about market updates or rant about the clients i have to handle everyday. Some story about family i won't share in this blog and i am sure you guys do not want me to blog about every little thing that happens like what i did where i go what i think. Not much happens that worth to blog. Even if something did happen, refer to reason no.1, i tak pandai nak make it interesting.

So that are the reasons. I know many bloggers yang macam i, tapi syok sendiri nak ada blog jugak. Takpela kan....janji kita happy. Takdak orang baca pun takpa, janji kita sendiri baca & faham. Worse come to worse, i still have my one and only avid reader, which is my husband. Dia tu suka sibuk baca blog ni. Lain kali nak story apa-apa kalau dia buat tak layan pasal sibuk main game (this always happen!), i will tell in my blog so he reads it. Hahahaha...

Choosing your lifetime partner

Came upon this quote by Mufti Ismail Menk on his twitter recently:

"The type of person you marry plays a big role in the type of children you have, so do your unborn children a favor by choosing wisely" 

I have to agree with him. In this materialistic and superficial world we sometime forget what really our destiny in life. Kita hidup untuk apa. Adakah hidup untuk menatap perempuan cantik sahaja, yang lain tolak tepi? Or hidup untuk enjoy dengan duit yang banyak, yang lain tolak tepi? Sadly, most of us like that kan? Ok i rephrase it. Maybe most (i said most ya, not all) immature and young ones think life is all that. 

When you choose the person you end up marrying, do you really think about your children's future? Yela memang semua berangan nak ada anak comel, pandai, sihat. But do you really consider what your children will be like (not look like) and how your partner will effect it? Comel pandai sihat tu memang bergantung pada pasangan kita. But i am talking about our children characters, bring up and  behavior. 

So most of us normal beings sure hidup untuk berbahagia bersama family dan kalau boleh sama-sama masuk syurga kan? By choosing superficial & materialistik aspect on your marriage can't help you on that. Dapat perempuan cantik sexy suka pulak pakai dedah & bermake up tebal untuk tatapan lelaki ajnabi. Dapat lelaki kaya kurang pulak tahap kesetiaan dan kita pula mudah hanyut dengan lautan duit. Memangla tak semua macam tu. I do know family that are beautiful, rich and the same time very pious, but it is very rare. And when they are family like that, both parents are the best partner that complete each other and can be the best example for their children. 

Having said all these, i am not saying i am the perfect partner. I am far from that. Banyak perangai buruk yang perlu dibuang dan diubah! There are some of my bad traits that i wish my children will not follow. Same with my partner. But i do admit that i wish i would have found this quote before i married. Not that i regret the partner i chosen, i very much love my husband and so far am glad of what my children has become now. But it is too earlier to say that right? Jauh lagi perjalanan, anak-anak bila besar baru boleh tengok true characters.  Just that if i would have given a choice to pick my perfect partner as a father of my children, i want him to be religious, kind and very highly educated. Well, siapa taknak semua tu kan? Kaya dan cun tak menjanjikan apa-apa kecuali hidup yang lebih sengsara kalau disalah guna. So i won't look into that traits anymore. Walaupun dulu memang impian nak cari yang hensem & cerah pasal nak anak comel dan cerah. Hahahahaha.....But i also believe it is still not too late for us to change ourselves  for the better so that our children have a good example from the person that close to them which is us, their parents. 

So single girls & boys out there. Forget those superficial stuff. Choose your partner wisely. And of coursela you pun kena elok perangainya jugak ye..tak fair la kan. Think about your future children, what you want them to be. Mesti the best kan? Choose someone that can complement you, positive your negative. Macam kalau you panas baran, cari partner yang penyabar. You can't choose your parents & siblings but you can choose your partner that will determines how your children will be. It is a precious chance given, so choose wisely ya! 

Why Women Hate Smokers

Just thought of doing this post as an info-service (is that what this is called??). Firstly just to make things clear, my husband is not a smoker, most of my friends not a smoker, the closest to me who smokes is my father. So smokers do not bothers me much on daily basis, but when they do i wish i can slap them hard. Reason for this post is so that smokers realized how annoying they are to me or any other non-smokers woman (woman smokers would be double annoying)

Always, it is the same reason woman complains when their partner/friends/relative smokes. Forget the obvious reason of how smoking bad for you..dah basi dan selalu dengar. What i want to tell are how & why smokers annoy us woman the most. We, like you (smokers), do not really care about the health risks because berapa orang sangatla betul-betul mati pasal rokok, tak hisap rokok pun mati awal jugak kan. That is why any no smoking campaigns focusing on health are ineffective enough. Here i list out why women hate smokers, as been told & heard by me so many times:

• When you smoke, everything smells of cigarettes. Your clothes, your car, you stuff and worse of all is your breath! Imagine if you got to kiss a man with that cigarette's breath. Early morning breath right after you wake up & before you eat anything is the worse! I know because my course mate (during my varsity years) who sat beside me on morning class always had that breath..eewwww!! Woman whose husband are smokers, how is it like to kiss those cigarette's breath, really?

• Smokers always will excuse themselves for a cigarette break. Imagine when we are shopping, eating or attending a function, a smoker will disappear in the middle of it for some puff. It will take longer kalau ada geng. It won't annoy woman that much before marriage. But after married, you will hate it whenever he does it. Just imagine, you are having lunch at indoor restaurant. Your kid are having tantrums so you will not eat yet to layan your kids hoping that when husband finishes his lunch he will take over. But what happen is, right after meal he will rush out for a puff leaving you alone with kids, still not eating. Sakit hati kan? Or when you are in a mall with your kids, you know la how kids are in shopping mall. In the middle of it he disappears, out for some puff leaving you like mad woman chasing your kids. Sakit hati tak? My mother always tells me she does not like eating out alone with my dad just because she always would be left alone on the table. Not to talk bad about my dad but smokers are like that and it got worse after married.

• As a parent or mother, ofcourse we won't let our kids smoke and couldn't imagine how heart wrenching it is when one day our precious kid decide to huff the puff and destroy his lungs. So if it is so scary who to blame when your husband is a smoker. What reasoning would you give to your kids to stop them from smoking? You kids are not stupid, your husband are because he failed to give a good example. 

• Waste of money. Like gold, cigarettes are expensive and won't get cheaper in time. You jimat macam mana pun kalau bazir on box of cigarettes everyday, you memang bodoh. When i see those TV shows that focus on low income family who are suffering to make a living  ('Bersamamu' like)  i do feels sad  & pity but as soon as i saw any of their family smokes i terus jadi menyampah. Come on la, everyday punya makan pun tak cukup, why want to waste money on cigarettes? That money can put to better use. If you complain of not having enough to feed your family while you puffing cigarettes everyday, i would say you are selfish & stupid!

That are all i can think of now. Memang ada banyak lagi but i think those are the most annoying and obvious. When you live with smokers, your life will revolves on their habits. You may not realized it but when you really come to think of it, your life would be much better if they stop smoking. Sorry if i offended any smokers or wife of smokers that disagree with me. I stand strong on my reasons and i hate smokers. I think all smokers should live on a different planet and kill each other with their smokes. Please la, for the sake of others & also yourself, please consider to quit smoking. And woman who smokes, shame on you! I hate you even more! 

RIP Steve Jobs

Steve Jobs is dead, the man behind those iphone you hold and other magnificent gadgets that changed the way we work or live now is no longer with us. Honestly i did not know much about him till iphone made famous. Only when he resigned from Apple that i came to learn that he was actually a great visionary and true genius beyond time. Who would not settle with just Microsoft and goes beyond that.  I truly respect what he had done. Steve Jobs, thank you for your ideas, inventions & wisdom, you inspired us all. The world owe you! 

Here are some story to share. An inspiring story from someone who had worked with Steve Jobs. It was written after Steve Jobs resigned from Apple, before he passed away. I took this from Diana Rikasari's blog, she posted this few days after Steve Jobs resignation and i still can't forget the story till now, so i thought it is appropriate for me to share it here. After reading, it makes me want to be a better person..really! 

A true story by Vic Gundotra:

One Sunday morning, January 6th, 2008 I was attending religious services when my cell phone vibrated. As discreetly as possible, I checked the phone and noticed that my phone said "Caller ID unknown". I choose to ignore.

After services, as I was walking to my car with my family, I checked my cell phone messages. The message left was from Steve Jobs. "Vic, can you call me at home? I have something urgent to discuss" it said.

Before I even reached my car, I called Steve Jobs back. I was responsible for all mobile applications at Google, and in that role, had regular dealings with Steve. It was one of the perks of the job.

"Hey Steve - this is Vic", I said. "I'm sorry I didn't answer your call earlier. I was in religious services, and the caller ID said unknown, so I didn't pick up".

Steve laughed. He said, "Vic, unless the Caller ID said 'GOD', you should never pick up during services".

I laughed nervously. After all, while it was customary for Steve to call during the week upset about something, it was unusual for him to call me on Sunday and ask me to call his home. I wondered what was so important?

"So Vic, we have an urgent issue, one that I need addressed right away. I've already assigned someone from my team to help you, and I hope you can fix this tomorrow" said Steve.

"I've been looking at the Google logo on the iPhone and I'm not happy with the icon. The second O in Google doesn't have the right yellow gradient. It's just wrong and I'm going to have Greg fix it tomorrow. Is that okay with you?"

Of course this was okay with me. A few minutes later on that Sunday I received an email from Steve with the subject "Icon Ambulance". The email directed me to work with Greg Christie to fix the icon.

Since I was 11 years old and fell in love with an Apple II, I have dozens of stories to tell about Apple products. They have been a part of my life for decades. Even when I worked for 15 years for Bill Gates at Microsoft, I had a huge admiration for Steve and what Apple had produced.

But in the end, when I think about leadership, passion and attention to detail, I think back to the call I received from Steve Jobs on a Sunday morning in January. It was a lesson I'll never forget. CEOs should care about details. Even shades of yellow. On a Sunday.

To one of the greatest leaders I've ever met, my prayers and hopes are with you Steve. 

On 9/11

Picture from google image

I have the itch to blog about this. About 9/11. Been 10 years yesterday. No matter how it effected you or not effected you, no matter what your opinion about it, no matter what you heard about it, the fact is... it happened, and lots of people died, innocent people. Facts that the Americans' perception of their mighty country changed, facts that the world's perception of Islam changed, facts that tons of lies been told and even tons of facts been twisted. No matter what......you can't escape from being effected by it...direct or indirectly...it does effects you right?

9/11/2001. I was 20 years old that time. A finance student at UPM. On the day day it happened, i went to the TV room at my hostel to watch TV after tired of studying for my finals. Upon switched on the TV, i saw a footage of a plane collided with a tall building. I remembered saying to myself  'Awat pelik ni..movie ka apa ni?'. Then the anchorman narrated about the tragedy..i was shocked. This is 'Berita Terkini', means this is really happening..perang apa ni? I stick to the TV hearing every details to understands better. Half shocked half blurred. Tomorrow it was all over the newspaper. Everybody seems to have opinion about it.

Recently i watched a documentary about 9/11 on History Channel. Had goosebumps all through watching it. Sympathized & sad over people died in vain, especially those firemen & rescuers. I know some people laugh at US for being arrogance and belittle of what happened compared to those country in war where hundreds of people died everyday. What a sick mind they have. People died no matter where, who, how, are still somebody's mother, father, daughter or son regardless what their religion or race is. If you can't sympathized, at least please do respect those in grief.

I am a Muslim. I can't help but feels hurt of those who do not know any better generalized muslim's community after the 9/11. At the same time i also feel glad that this tragedy somehow open people's eyes to understand & learn better about Islam. Resulted from this, there are more of people converted to Islam after 9/11.

Those who are still cursing & full of hatred need to understand better. No matter what takes you are on this tragedy, please keep your humanity in checked, or you are just the same as those culprits who caused it, who are self-righteous, insensitive & make decision based on hatred.

Peace out! :)

Do Your Kids Need Lingeries?

I just came upon this news on CNN.com and was disgusted. What are they thinking? Letting kids expose like that? I don't know whether adult out there agrees with me or not but i can be sure most parents will be on my side on this. What angers me is that, those company that design this so called 'Adult inspired lingerie for kids' are so insensitive and profit oriented. Their defense is that those lingerie are not provocative or sexy for kids. Come on, if you name it lingerie instead of underwear or 'spender' it ought to be sexual elements in some way right? The only underwear for kids is those that have Dora, Spongebob, Disney's cartoon or superheroes characters printed on them. Not those lacy, frilly, ruffled lingerie that will aroused pedophile! Those designers either too ignorance or live in a world where there are no crimes involve children.

Come on la....there are already too many child rape cases and pedophile laying around. Just look at the website pictures, it is enough to attract those disgusting pedophile and god know what they think & feel upon seeing them! You may not think those pictures are provocative but believe me those pedophile do think so! Not only kids do not need lingerie but kids also are inappropriate to pose in one.

You may think i am over-reacted and negative or old fashioned. I can't be hip or happy when i see kids been exploit to another dumb marketing scheme right? I am a mother. News about child rape & abuse hurt me deeply. And i will object anything that can contribute to even more crime or feed the hunger of those sick pedophile out there. Why does nowadays kids are too fast to grow up? Kids from my era and now are totally different, they know lots of adult stuff and would like to grow up fast or act like a grown up. And there are loads of manufacturer markets their stuff to cater this so-called can't wait to be adult children. Make-up, heels, designer bags and other god know what. Now come this lingerie, if kids want to have a lingerie and even worse trying to wear it sexily to attract the opposite sex, then how? Young girls don't need lingerie, they need to be kids...playing around with friends and learning something new. Not thinking what to wear that makes them sexy or what lingerie to be matched with today's outfit. It just not right!!!

Truly speaking. Even provocative & sexy pic posed by a grown woman disturb me. Whenever i saw them i will question who are this woman? why she has no shame? is she somebody's daughter, girlfriend, mother or wife? if yes, how do they feel of her posing like this? does she know guys want to do bad things when they see her pic? Lots of such questions bedazzled me. So what do you expect me to react to a kids lingerie that promotes  sexual attention for kids???? Haihhhh.....

Cleansing

Picture from here

Everybody seem to have a take on recent notorious demo. I am not a fan on politics and i don't take sides. For me both sides are the same, dirty & power driven. In fact all politic scene in the world are more or less the same. The only difference is that how it effect us as a citizen and how far they control it.

I understand what Bersih demanded. I even agreed upon clean election. I am proud seeing all Malaysian come together for one cause ( i assume they  majority are rooting  for the same cause). I am hoping that if this demo does any effect on Malaysia, it will be a positive one and every Malaysian will benefit from it.

But i don't like chaos, things that makes me feel unsafe at my own country. I am skeptical on the true intention of Bersih, especially those who organize it.  I am sad seeing how the foreign media summarized the whole issue and focus on negative things instead of what Bersih really are. Mostly i am terribly devastated to see one sided media coverage by both parties (local TV media by gov and internet media by anti-gov) because it makes people who do not know any better presumes, make judgement and blindly take sides!

Well, like i mentioned earlier everyone wants to be bijak pandai and talk politics as if they care all this while. I refuse to be that person. My post is just my heartfelt on the current issue, as a peaceful Malaysian. If your true intention is for a better Malaysia, i support you but please CLEANSE your soul first before anything else as this is all only 'Drama Dunia'. Peace.

Die Young

I was in shocked when i received sms from my sister, informing that one of my cousins had just died in a car accident. She was only 19, a UiTM student and a cheerful & talkative girl eventhough i wasn't very close to her, only Facebook keep us connected as she constantly updating her status. The news made me sad and it is hard for me to continue sleeping after that.

Any news of someone's death is a shock, but a death of someone dies at young age makes me even more heart wrenched. I lost someone very close to me last year, he was only 19, at prime of his age when teenagers his age enjoying young & care-less life and he was such a happy lad before he was ill. He was my brother, the youngest among us sibling and also the only boy. After almost a year battled with Wegener's Granulomatosis, an auto-immune disease that has no cure up to date. I won't go into details how he suffered through his sickness as that will only drained me in tears (i am already in tear while typing this).

People says those who die young are lucky because they won't be collecting sins as they live because Allah knows how much someone can gained sins and do bad things in a lifetime. But ofcourse we don't go wishing to die young, it doesn't work that way. Alhamdulillah for the life given to us. How long we gonna live is Allah's work, we can't control that. What we can control is the way we live our life. Life is too short to create hatred,  to have negative thoughts or to skip our solat for petty matters.

Seeing people die young it makes me wonder when is my time. People that i love around me, will they grow old with me? It makes me appreciate them, appreciate my life and thank Allah for every chance & time i got to spend with them. Because i never know when mine or their time is up and i refuse to have regrets when it is too late.

Multiple Personalities

Do you have multiple personalities? I do. Not the schizophrenic type, i don't have multiple personalities disorder! What  i mean by multiple personalities is that how you act when you are with that certain person in your life, especially with your closed one. Basically, on surface people will know me as a quiet & friendly person or sometime if they did not take time to know me better i will be claimed as snobbish due to my smug face. But for those who know me for along time and always with me will see a different side of me. So here comes my different personalities with different people in my life.

With friends, office mate, general people i see everyday. I will known as this chatty & happy go lucky person. I am funny and always have story to share. I seldom angry or moody. I seldom show my sadness or anger unless i really really can't keep it. So most of the time i am this happy smiley face and nothing can effect my mood eventhough i actually feels like a crap. I am like your friend & sisters that you can share your story. Aiseh, i sounded like puji diri sendiri pulak kan? hahaha...

With my sisters & parents, i am happy go lucky person as well but also tough and matured. I seldom show my weakness to them and i always act like i am strong and matured sister or daughter that you can confront me with anything and i will settle your problems. I am the second child but most of the time i feel like i am the oldest because i am always in charge. Family problem or trouble, i am the first to know or called. Any decision or opinion, i am the one who have the most says. Frankly, i do like being in charge with everything because i am a control freak where i feels like only i do it better. Yes, i memang ada perasaan ingat bagus sangat, you may hate me for that. But this is me, i am use to it already, arranging everything and taking charge of family matters. My sisters (i have 2 sisters,older & younger) might hate me for this but eventually they'll know that my intention is well.

With my husband, i am very sensitive and always crave for his attention. I show my moody side and can be easily loose my temper on little things or arguments. I become vulnerable with him. This is maybe because he is the only one who understand me inside out, the real me where i don't have to act tough or happy all the time. Whatever he thinks or says really matters to me. I don't give a damn of others criticizing me, only what my husband think is important and goes deep into my heart. People says only people who are close to you can cut or wound your soul..in my case it is my husband. Being a darling husband, he is really patient with my moody self and understand me well. We do shares some arguments now and then but nothing over the tops. Apart from my vulnerable side, i also become this happy and cheerful person when i am with him. We can share jokes and act like nobody's business fooling like a child. I think that is what makes us happy & keep us together. I really can't understand when a person can not be her/his true self with their partner. My advise is, if you can't be true and show the real you to your partner because you are afraid of he/she criticizing you, maybe you have to rethink about your relationship. It is not healthy.

Okay..those are my personalities. Now after reading it, do you have different side for different person or you are just an open book and purely true to yourself no matter what?

Shallow

image from here

Shallow minded means the person values are not too deep. They are superficial, such as looks, money, fashion, etc. They do not function on principles such as honesty, pride, courage etc. (definations taken from here).  For me, a shallow minded person is when a person only look at surface to judge any beings. Oftenly, the women are the victim. Pity us women right?
I can confidently says that 99% people in this world are guilty of being shallow minded. Living in a world where exploitation of a woman & beauty is essential, as if we human can't think anything past that anymore.Don't agree with me? Ok just answer these simple quiz:

• When you read a blog, you will quickly scroll down searching for any pictures of the blogger or picture of anything that depicts the blogger or even google image it.
• When you see an ad commercial or any tv shows that shows unattractive person you will comments about her/his beauty first, regardless how talented he/she or how good the show is.
• Any picture that you post on your blog/social networks, you will select the best picture that shows your good side or if you can and know how to, you will photoshopped it first.
• You define someone success or happiness from their wealth & beauty.
• When you do something (ei.doing parties,meeting someone, weddings) you will think other people perception of you first.
• You use this phrase "Eiii, dah la muka hodoh, buat perangai macam tu pulak". As if when a person looks good, he/she can do anything and still ok. Is it??

If you are guilty at any of those points, then you are shallow minded. I am too, i care too much about what others think about me and i admit i do judge people like that too. I can't help it..it is just like an auto-mode where my mind will immediately look at those traits first. 

We are human, we love beautiful things, it make us happy. That is why there are so many tv commercials, tv shows and worse of all reality shows (this is why crap show like The Kardashians is a hit) that use beautiful people and luxurious, fairy tale-like life are so popular even though they contribute to zero knowledge and information.

You can be shallow minded, but please don't let that be the only value you look in life. It is superficial, it only brings you short-term happiness. Especially youngsters nowadays that are so obsess and insecure about how they look just because there are shallow minded people waiting to judge them and some of them are cruel. Like celebrity, even popular bloggers are now choose plastic surgery to look better just because there are constantly being criticized by public. That is why super-famous blog are mostly of someone who is beautiful (with tons of camwhore pictures) or someone who live a luxurious life with perfect job, perfect family. I don't blame you, i love those kind of blogs too! hahaha..

image from here

Don't ever think that if you don't look like this or live like that you are not happy. No one is perfect. If there are someone that you think is perfect, be happy for her/him, insyaAllah you will be perfect & happy in your own way too. I personally think that if you can look at someone pass the outer-beauty, you will appreciate that person more coz every human being has its own beauty. Come on, try to find good qualities in everything you see, it is not that hard right?

image from here