Just An Update

Fuyoo..lama tinggal blog ni. Does blog post relevant nowadays?? I rasa macam blogpost ni more to syok sendiri je kan?? More to update for self reading & record. Trend baca blog dah makin pupus rasnaya. Like myself, i dah tak kuasa dah nak baca blog..apatah lagi nak update blog sendiri. But still, pabila teringat, jadi teringin plak nak update harini. Just a short updates. Will do it in points:

• My Aidan dah exceeded 1 year milestone. Dah boleh jalan terkedek2 dan lari juga terkedek2. Makin clingy and kepo and curious. Masih suka layan katun especially nursery rhymes songs. I love baby at this age, so montok, so squishy and they are responsive now. 

• Bulan puasa ni makanan makin mahal kannn? Haritu gi beli makanan bebuka (pasal tak masak), habis RM50 plus jugak la untuk whole family makan. Aishh...makan kat restoran tomyam lagi murah kottt. Kuih pun kecik-kecik, jual 3 for RM2. Takleh la selalu melayan beli kat bazar ramadhan. Dah jadi surirumah ni kena rajin2 la masak yeee. Kadang tu bosan gak taktau masak apa, teringin makan nasi kerabu la..nasi beriyani la...nasi arab la..so kena la beli kan, i taktau masak semua tuuu.  

• So far my 7 y.o daughter dapat puasa penuh tanpa drama. Last year macam2 drama kena layan, but hanya ponteng few days. Hopefully she can finish her 30 days fasts this year.  

• Why there are sooo many raya sales niii. Online shopping ni memang dangerous betul. Luckily i ni size besar, so banyak baju takde size. Jadi kalau cantik pun mampu tengok je. Rahmat jugak kan plus size ni. Hahahaha. But habis jugak duit tuuu gi beli tudung, telekung, kids clothes (H&M had a massive online sales, 1 baju RM16 je!!) and cosmetics. 

• This year raya kat Sarawak. Means boleh melantak kek sarawak!! Tomorrow balik Aor Star, kalau raya kat Sarawak, we will sure balik berpuasa kat Alor Star because best puasa kat sana. Banyak makanan sedap and the bazar ramadhan is the best..macam2 ada, sedap, accessible and cheaper. Cakap banyak tak guna, orang Kedah tau la noh!

• Recently we celebrated our 11th year wedding anniversary. Dah 11 tahun menempuh alam perkahwinan, naik turun dari segi ekonomi, from apartment to landed house, from kelisa to alza mpv, from me working to me being work from home mom and now 3 healthy kids. Alhamdulillah for all the experience & gifts. Nak cerita bab perkahwinan ni, takde siapa ada experience yang sama, betul tak? Kalau nak cerita kat orang pasal marriage kita memang takkan yang faham totally because it is emotionally exclusive between you and your husband. People can relate but not one can say yes i have the same marriage as yours. No, it is impossible. My point is, your marriage is what you build & evolve with your love ones, so jangan la compare dengan marriage orang yang you nampak kat social media or dari ceritanya. Believe me, there are backstories that every marriage has to endure to be great. For me, Alhamdulillah..so far takde ujian yang belum mampu handle.

Ok that's all lah. Kalau rajin, lepas raya la update ye..with pictures. Selamat berpuasa semua! 

Baby No.3

My third baby already 6 month old, baru la mak dia nak terhegeh-hegeh nak update blog kan. Well, taking care of baby is handful you know. Plus i always at home being slaves to my 3 kids mana la ada masa nak duduk depan laptop karang cerita. Nak check email pun susah oiiii...

My baby was born on 2nd May 2016, around 7pm (lupa exact time). That day was labour day replacement leave (labour day on 1st May, which fell on Sunday), so my husband ada kat rumah. The night before entah nape memang dah tak boleh tidur, tak sakit pun but i couldn't sleep till about 4am kot. That day about 9am i nak gi breakfast dengan my mother, she came few days earlier to take care of me during confinement. Suddenly terasa macam kejang below my abdomen, where you feel period paid. Time dok pikir aik, tak kan dah contraction kot. I was on my 38th weeks, last time i deliver my daughter also on 38th week. I igonore je sakit tu, pegi je breakfast. Tapi time breakfast tu memang dok makin kerap rasa sakit, every 15min macam tu. Balik rumah husband tanya nak gi hospital ke? Actually that day i dah plan nak gi lunch rumah my cousin, so i cakap kat husband after lunch sana kita terus gi hospital because i also taknak kena tahan lama kat wad, boleh lagi tahan sakit ni.

Dah sampai rumah my cousin around 2pm, the pain became intense. Tengah sembang pun boleh chup jap pasal nak tahan sakit. My cousins gelak je tengok i berkerut tahan sakit. Gigih jugak la makan. Sedap lauk dia oiii..pantang nanti takleh melantak sukati dah. Habis makan, i mintak permission my cousin nak mandi kat rumah dia sebelum serah diri kat hospital. After bath terus mintak diri pasal dah sakit sangat and jarak contraction pun makin dekat.

Admitted hospital around 5pm. Nurse check dah buka 4cm, katanya dinding rahim dah lembut. After my doc pecahkan air ketuban tu, bermula la detik meronta-ronta atas katil tahan sakit yang setengah mati. Pegang besi katil punya la kuat pasal nak tahan sakit. Bila time nak teran keluar i dah jadi letih. That time dok pikir kalau doc nak operate pun i bagi je pasal tak larat dah teran. So doc keluar la mesin vacum to expediate the process. Alhamdulillah akhirnya keluar jua anak lelaki ku yang bernama Aidan Amir dengan berat 3.1kg. Tak terkata leganya setelah keluar. Really, birthing experience is really really special. Sebab tu la para ibu memang terasa sangat kalau anak buat lebih kurang kat dia kann. Eh sebak plak dok type ni.

Syukur Alahamdulillah, Aidan dilahirkan dengan sihat. Dah nak masuk 7 bulan dan dia tak pernah sakit or demam. Mungkin pasal kali ni dapat directly breasfeed him fully and personally jaga dia sepenuh masa. Kita tengok hasilnya nanti, ada beza tak Aidan ni yg dijaga sepenuhnya by me dan kakak & abangnya yang dijaga pengasuh. Apa pun, harap jadila insan yang terbaik dan membanggakan ibu bapa. Amiiiinnnn..

Miscarriage Experience

Sebelum ni i pernah janji nak cerita pasal my miscarriage kan? It was one memorable experience for me. I was actually kind of traumatized by it. It was nothing like what i expected i would feel, physically or emotionally. That is why i want to make a post in my blog, untuk kenangan and sharing. Expect this post to be a really looooong one. Kalau rajin baca la ye.

Me and husband been trying for baby no.3 for more than a year, since my second daughter was 4 years old. My last effort was the ovulation test. With this ovulation detector at least we know when is the right time to consumate. Nak jadikan cerita i finally got pregnant. My period was late, and i was in process of moving house. I was ecstatic when i found out i was pregnant, i think dah dekat 2 bulan time tu. Since we were busy nak pindah rumah, i delayed appointment with doctor. Lagipun fikir awal lagikan, bukan nampak apa pun, i was fine on my last 2 pregnancy so i was confident with the 3rd one.

Bezanya pregnancy ni is the nausea. Mual, muntah and tak lalu makan. And i lost weight. Mungkin jugak sebab stress pindah rumah. I was thinking that time, nausea is a good sign. Means the baby is ok. How wrong i was kannn??

Now come my first pregnancy check ups. I was 3 months plus that time. But the scan showed i was only at 6 weeks. And no heartbeat or movement. Just a sight of the sac. Being positive, doctor said maybe it was too early. Next appointment is another 2 weeks, to see whether there is any development. He didn't mention about the baby not being there, thus both of us never thought it would happen. We still think i was pregnant, only miscalculated the period and it was too early.

Ni contoh empty sac yang nampak time scan.

Then came the bleeding. I was at work, in a toilet lepas basuh i wipe with tissue and i saw some stains on it. It was light colored blood. Macam lendir pun ada. I was panicked. What can it beeee???? Haritu rasanya dekat 10x masuk toilet kot nak check. Everytime i wipe there is blood, tapi takdela banyak macam darah menstrual tu. Told my husband, dia cakap mungkin temporary je kot. Yes sometime it happens during early pregnancy, i googled it. Tapi hati mana tak risau kan. Gundah gulana je rasa, semua kawan yang pernah go through miscarriage i tanya. The worries got really tense after few days when lagi banyak darah keluar. Tapi punyala degil tak pegi jugak jumpa doc. Entahla mungkin i was afraid if my biggest fear is true.

The truth finally known bila visit my doc on next appointment. The scan showed no progess. Only empty sac. No baby inside. Doc cakap 'rumah dah siap tapi baby tak jadi'. Sedihnya time tu. My husband lagila mood berubah because he didn't expect it.  He did not talk much on our way back home. Kenala terima takdir kan. Takde rezeki lagi. Time tu dok fikir aku ni dah ada 2 anak pun feel distraught, how la couple yang belum ada anak rasa kalau miscarriage kan.

Doc bagi options, buat d&c (cuci rahim), tunggu je benda tu turun keluar sendiri or makan pil paksa keluar. Time tu masih lagi terkejut dan blur, i cakap je nak tunggu. So doc suruh wait for 2 weeks. I read that if your body is healthy benda tu akan turun sendiri, its like your body will automatically get rids if the unwanted stuff in your body.

Dalam seminggu tu dah turun darah macam period. One day tu banyak sangat flow dia. I was at work that time. Rasa heavy flow je time tu, terus lari gi toilet nak check. Tengah panjat tangga tu rasa macam meleleh kat kaki. Masuk dalam toilet masyaAllah dah horror keadaan time tu. The blood was soooo many, my pants was drenched with blood. Ada jugak ketulan macam hati ayam berterabur kat lantai toilet. Wahhh....seramnya time tu. Terus minta kat boss nak balik rumah.

Got medical leave for 2 weeks. Alhamdulillah benda tu turun keluar semuanya tanpa perlu go through d&c. Proses keluar tu took about 1 week, ada hari sakit macam you are having massive period cramp. Tapi sakit lagi contraction nak beranak. So sakit ni takde apa sangat la banding sakit setengah mati nak beranak tu. Hahahaha.

Emotionally i was traumatized and blaming myself. Yela time tu letih pindah rumah, angkat barang and cuci rumah semua. Doc said it wasn't because of that. Tapi tetap rasa bersalah. The experience memang takleh lupa. But takdela trauma sampai taknak buat anak dah.

Nak jadi cerita, lepas 1st period after miscarriage tu i got pregnant again. Means 2 months after my miscarriage. This time memang hati-hati la. Awal2 lagi dah gi jumpa doc. And now i am 32weeks pregnant and my edd is on 17th May. I am expecting another boy. Please pray for us ya.

Tak sabar nak tunggu new baby. This is his blanket that i knit myself.

When They Are Gone

  As you all would have known, i pernah lost someone very dear & close to me. My brother, died at such young age of 18 to a serious & incurable illness. I was so devastated and distraught. Even till now i avoid to think much about it especially about his long term hospitalization and suffering.

But losing someone and gone through all the devastations and sad phase has thought me lots. It change my perspective in life. It is true that Allah give us trials to make us learn. Semua ada hikmah, whether you realize it or not. 

I wish to share with you all what i learn result from this. I hope they are beneficial.

• Grief. I no longer thinks that people who grief at funerals are weak or people who doesn't are pious. For instance, when my brother passed away, i am among my family that cried less at the hospitals or funerals. Not because i am pious or stronger than the rest. It is because i just not good at showing emotion in public unless dah tak boleh tahan. But when i cry, i really really cry intensively just to let it out from my system. I cried alone in my room, in the toilet, when everyone is asleep. I cried everytime my brother conditions deteriorate, when my mother called me crying, when my brother in comma, when the first time i found out he was no longer with us. See, everybody grief in their own space & time, some do it in public and you see them constantly breakdown and cry. And some like me. So now, when i see someone grief, i just pat her/his back and say 'it's ok, let it out, cry' not the usual 'be strong, sabar' because the sooner you get over the crying & grieving phase you will  fee better and stronger. Please let them cry, we are not robot. 

•  Material. When someone dies, after all the funeral and burial we are left with their possessions. The older someone dies, the more stuff he/she accumulated. Same thing with my late brother. Because he was still young, a student and still live with my parents, the things that he left us are mostly clothes & books. As i gone through all of his stuff & notes it made me realized that all the material things you accumulated when you are alive are useless when you died. All the designer bags, posh cars, fancy clothes, expensive gadgets or your hobby are 100% invaluable to you and whoever inherit them won't appreciate it as much as you do. So why we obsess with them so much? Now, i try to avoid accumulating stuff that i 'think' i will use or buy things just because i like them but not beneficial whatsoever. And i also will not give any sentimental value on any material, which makes throwing your stuff when they are no longer in use easier.

•  Rituals. As a muslim, when someone passed away we have kenduri tahlil & recites Yassin. After that we will constantly do doa for the dead and sedekah bacaan al-quran, hoping that the dead will benefits from it. I believe, the only things that matters to afterlife of a dead person is the doa & deeds of their children (whatever good deeds & value we have thought them) and all the sedekah & charity we did when we alive. Others like kenduri tahlil, baca yasin, baca al-fatihah has no proves to be beneficial to the dead but just rituals. Anyhow, good things done will be granted pahala to the doer. I think we human always feels like we have to do something to the dead and actually gives therapy to the grieving family. This man-created rituals are more for the living than the dead. Don't burden the family for kenduri if they chose not to. Like when you recited yassin or al-fatihah in front of the grave. It is really unnecessary, you can recites it at home and it still beneficial. Grave is not a shrine where you pray, it is just a memorial. But.....let the grieving family do it anyway. Let them do all the tahlil and recitals and grave visits as much as they want. As long it is not syirik, just let them do it. This has made my mak feels better. It helps her feel connected. It helped her move on and hang to something because losing a son too soon is hurtful & the sadness is incurable. She still visits my brother's grave every friday and talk to the tombstone and cried each time till now, even after 4 years.

•  Thankful. Always be thankful even during your lowest points. There are always things to be thankful for. Experience of seeing sick people lying helplessly on the bed makes my boring everyday routine seems major. Even you don't have money, look at your body all limbs attached perfectly, look at your kids all healthy & happy, look outside to see how peaceful the place you live in. When my brother was sick, he couldn't walk, in diapers, no appetite to eat, right there and then i feel insaf of what i took for granted all these time. Even being able to go to toilet everyday i thank Allah. Those simple things are the one value to us that money can't buy.You can simply thankful you are still alive, because you can still do good deeds, be beneficial to community and repents on your wrongdoing before you lie dead and everything are accountable within you and God. Now i seldom complain about life, i am more optimistic because i know somewhere someone who would want to switch life with me. So whenever i heard someone complains 'My life is hard' i have the itch to reply her/him 'Compare to what??'

The point of this post is not to preach. Not to prove i am expert in anything. Just to share from my perspective. I thought death was far from me before i lost my brother, now i always be reminded of it. Alhamdulillah for this trial, Allah take my love ones and lend me some wisdom to hold on to. I really hope my sharing beneficial for you.

p.s: I find the book 'Reclaim You Heart' by Yasmin Mogahed to be very useful in life. Makes you think of your priority in life and what really matters. Please read it, you sure won't regret it.

Cerita Puasa

1 week to Syawal. I guess still not too late to wish Selamat Berpuasa to all of you. 

1 more week for us to gain as much pahala as we can. Bulan Ramadhan ni kan hadiah untuk kita dari Allah. Kalau dah hadiah sure special & meaningful kan? So don't put it to waste, cepat dapatkan pahala berganda sepanjang Ramadhan.

My son, Adam never miss a day of fasting. MasyaAllah, he is strong. When i was his age, balik skolah memang lembik macam budak kebulur kat Afrika. But Adam, tak macam tu. Dia aktif lari sana sini. Adala jugak komplen haus. Tapi mulut je cakap haus, physically still active.

Teringat zaman i puasa dulu. Tak salah time darjah 2 kot. I got all sort of ideas to kelentong nak minum air. Paling kelakar was this one time when Sustagen datang buat promo kat sekolah. Tak sensitive sungguh buat time puasa. If you are about the same age as me, mesti ingat maskot Sustagen Susy & Geno.

They came as a promo to Sustagen drinks. They dance & sing  and last slot is hand out free Sustagen drinks. Bila nak bagi drinks tu cikgu cakap, siapa yang tak puasa boleh datang ke depan berbaris ambil minuman. I yang memang takde niat betul & luhur untuk berpuasa cepat bangun beratur. Sedap uollzz! Tak rasa nyesal & bersalah langsung batal puasa. Hahahahaha...

Nak jadi cerita, ada la spy pi report kat my parents cakap i tak puasa. Apa lagi, kena interrogate la dengan diorang. You all tau apa alasan i bagi? Memang stupid punya alasan. I told them yang i tak sengaja minum. Ada budak tu terjatuh, and air tu termasuk dalam mulut i. Bodoh tak? Hahaha! My parents just keep silent and i am off the hook. Rasa diorang percaya ke? I think diorang tak tahan nak gelak kot, sebab tu diam je tak marah pun. I harap la my kids takdela buat perangai tak senonoh macam i. Dahla tak puasa, menipu, pastu bagi alasan tak senonoh! hahahaha!

Sekian cerita tak senonoh di bulan puasa ni. 

Actually i am still in sombre mood. Pasal  MH17 tragedy & also what happening to our brothers & sisters in Gaza. So inhumane and it make me soooo mad! Geramnya bila sesama manusia buat macam ni. I am afraid for the future. Proof that we all are only a small spec living helplessly in this world. The only thing i can control is what i did when i am alive, to gain my paradise hereafter. Kena fikir hidup untuk mati, pasal mati akan datang bila-bila dan ia pasti. Takutnya kalau amalan tak cukup bila dipanggil mengadap Allah. Sama-sama la kita berdoa ye, agar kita dilindungi Allah.

My life so far

Wah, lama jugak i tak update blog ye. Well, takdak siapa bother pun kan? Hehehe.

Just quick update of what happened throughout my silence from blog-sphere. Nothing major happened, but effect jugak la life daku yang serba mundane ni.

Me & family went to Legoland. Exciting experience, especially if you are a lego fans. I did enjoyed myself but not as much as my kids. All the rides are more kids oriented. Adam sampai sekarang dok tanya bila boleh pi lagi. If you are bujang, young & restless, better spend your money at Universal Studio because you enjoy more thrill rides there, unless you lego fans or simply can't resist theme parks (like me!). Legoland is very family oriented and convenient for those with kids. Tempat change diaper, tido anak, buat susu, feeding, memang disediakan bilik khas yang air-conditioned, bersih dan selesa. Siapa ada bibik boleh placed you baby in the baby cot to sleep or let your toddler play inside the room all day because semua dah complete. And playgrounds are everywhere. Means kalau parents tak larat jalan or too hot (panaih sungguh tau), you can sit down and let your kids main kat playground besar tu. Convenient kan? I really appreciate it.

On first day of Chinese New Year, at 3a.m my office caught fire. Started from the rooftop, and burnt down the second floor. I operate at ground floor, so my workstation is safe. But it was very inconvenient for us to work due to the dampness caused by the water hose sprayed by firemen when they tried to put down the fire. Memang office to bau bakar & lembab. Guess we have to live with this condition for few months before the re-constructions completed.Quite unhealthy also. Due to the built up mould and dusty air. Some of us already not feeling well.



Talking about unhealthy. Apparently each one of my family down with fever except for me. Started with my son. Sick for almost a week then my daughter's temperature gone up. Till now, she is still weak but the fever has gone, only her appetite and energy haven't came back and still cranky and moody. And the same time my husband also down with massive fever, the kind that weakens and steals his appetite and he can only lays in bed all the time. So left only me, the not so super-mommy that have to take care all of them. I am not having any fever but can't say i am in my optimum health as well. Caught flu and thick phlegm haunting me till now, rimass! Oh and i somehow have a pink eye, so sekarang sepet sebelah. Buuttt...being a mother, i still have to forget my misery and take care the rest of my family that needs my care & attention. Bila dukung my daughter pegi hospital untuk cek darah, my son trolling along, my husband still sick at home, terasa macam sayu sedih jugak kena handle and struggle semua sorang diri walaupun hakikatnya i sendiri pun tengah sakit. Pujuk & hold my daughter in the emergency room to her blood drawn for test wasn't easy, sampai air mata i pun meleleh tengok dia mearung sakit. That moment i felt all alone and almost pity myself because i got to handle everything myself. But i always be optimistic and toughen up myself, by thinking that ibu tunggal are everywhere and they have to face this everyday without help from spouse. There are lots of people in a much more worse situation than me. And i reminded of my own mother going through hell taking care of my late brother..all by herself for months! Haih...i am ok, only the sickness in me made me all emo and self-pity. Hehehehe. Afterall, i do syukur that i am the one that healthy enough to take care of them, otherwise pensan i pasal sakit pun sure my kids still want their mak not their bapak. I pray that my family will be fit & healthy again. So that we can be active, out & about again! Amiiinn!

Different Childood

Having kids do makes you feel older. Yela, they grow up so fast and each year they age you couldn't help but feel a lil bit older. Also make you reflect on your own childhood. How different from them and yet we are still the same. Same in natural behavior such as excited about stuff, eager to know, happy go lucky, clumsy, carefree and simplistic. Different in environment, life experience, learning and can i add technology?

On this post I want to share my childhood. I love my childhood. I want to share how different it was from my kids today. Let's do the bullet point thing again ya! :)

• My bapak loves to read. He is the closest bookworm i know. He always nak galakkan kitorang membaca. Coincidentally when i was small he owned a bookshop. So memang banyak koleksi buku kat rumah. I couldn't remember when did i started to know how to read but i do remember having lots of books in my house and i read them or ask my parents to read them for me. So galakkan bapak i menjadi pasal i lekat jadi bookworm jugak (but not my elder sister though). During school holidays he would dump us in the public library sampai petang. I had fun, coz especially during school holiday there were lots of activities & games for us to do besides reading. At least better than hanging out in the malls like kids today right? Free of charge lagi, and also boleh pinjam 3 buku yang kita suka. My bapak never kedekut to buy us books. Like most kids (during my time), i started with Enid Blyton collection. The joy of reading is priceless! How i wish i have as much time to read now and start my own book collection or maybe own a huge bookshelf full of books! 

• Since i was little, i love to travel. But my parents did not have money to spend on vacation. The furthest we went pun KL tu pun macam 3 tahun sekali ja kot. Paling kerap pergi is Penang (i lived in kedah), tu pun pasal my bapak every year join Penang Bridge Marathon (he loves to run). My bapak was aware that i like to travel because i am the only child adventurous like that. He will allow me to go any rombongan sekolah. Atleast rombongan sekolah bayar untuk i seorang je, jimat dari whole family trip kan? So memang pantang ada rombongan gi memana pun i memang eager nak join. Sampai Singapore pun penah. Ada lagi ke rombongan sekolah macam tu sekarang ni ye? One more thing to save money, bapak i akan bagi i tumpang sesiapa yang nak travel. So i ni selalu la dengan muka tak malu tumpang sekaki join my relative pegi holiday. Begitula adanya cara my bapak nak layan kerenah anak dara dia yang suka travel dan tak reti homesick ni. If now nak buat macam tu kat anak i, ikut rombangan berhari-hari ke sana sini time kecik (i started i ikut rombongan since 8yrs old), i rasa i tak allow kot, risau sangat! 

• Sekrang kalau nak let go anak main mesti within eye distant je kan? Budak dulu round satu kampung nak Maghrib baru balik pun rilek je. Eventhough i tak tinggal kat kampung, i still round sana sini without fear. Dulu kalau tanya apa tu pedophile pun i tak tahu. Kalau jalan jauh-jauh pun benda yang paling takut adalah orang gila dan lembu sahaja. Istilah perogol, penculik dan perompak macam tak wujud dalam kamus. Pegi mengaji qur'an tiap-tiap hari jalan 3km pun rilek je walaupun baru tadika. Mak pun tenang kat rumah. Kalaula sekarang, our kids walk alone 500m from home pun rasa gundah gulana dah. Sigh, the freedom we had back than.

Hmm..i tak larat dah nak story banyak-banyak. Got something else to do. My point sharing this are, how i wish my kids life are more than just tv, games and entertainment. Like my first point, i hope my kids develop a reading habit and i wish i have a public library nearby to just dump them and they still enjoy themselves. My second point is travel. Do kids appreciate travelling nowadays? Nowadays it is easy & cheap to travel anywhere and easily take for granted. Do we even have rombongan sekolah now (apart from kidszania and zoo)? And finally the thirtd point. The freedom to let our kids have fun and create a little adventure for themselves. Memang tak la kan. Without parents worry sick and without third party waiting for the chance to attack our kids. Tu belum kira kena langgar kereta ke apa lagi due to lack of ample place to play & run about. 

So did you all get my points? Did you all have the same feeling? I have to accept the reality that my kids will have a different experience growing up. They will find joy in different thing. No matter what, i hope whatever their experience is, they will grow up fine and be a better human than me. Let's pray for that for every children ya! Aminnn....

Everybody's Fine

Are you all fine? I hope you do :) With the wet weather, i hope you all take better care of your health. Alhamdulillah so far me and the kids are doing good, no fever or flu. Tapi sejuknya especially malam.



On this post i wanna share with you a movie i just watched last weekend. Everybody's Fine. Such a heart warming and sad movie, it made me cried. I am glad that i accidentally switch to Sundance Channel. (coz i hardly watch that channel). Bila terbukak channel tu i checked the storyline and casts. They got Robert De Niro (great actor), Kate Beckinsale and Drew Barrymore (my favourite actress coz she is adorable). So oklah, thought i layan the story because nothing else interesting to watch on other channels. Memang best sungguh movie ni. A simple story about a father's love but so sad lah. What makes it so sad it because the father's character is familiar to me.



The movie has simple story line but touches us at the right place. Suka sangat movie macam ni, yang tak trying hard to proves a point with great cgi or action and still can tell a beautiful story. Okla i cerita sikit what this movie is about. It is about a father's love to his children and trying to get close to them. His wife had just passed away and suddenly all his children are distant from him. Because all these while his wife is the one yang communicate with their children. So the father decided to start a journey to visit all his 4 children which live at 4 different states. Each children he visited, revealed a hint of secret that they been hiding from him. Due to the secret, his children macam tak layan sangat bapak diorang. That time i was so sad and fikir jahatnya anak dia. And each of his children has their own problem as well. A problem that their late mother knows. One of the conversation in this movie, his daughter told him that they are more open to talk to their mother because she was calmer and supportive compare to him (her father) which worries to much and expect the best from them. In the movie, it shows that all his children love & care for their father. And despite the cold treatment by his children, the father still calm & understanding. No drama what so ever. Until towards the end of the movie, the secret revealed, at the hospital bed where their father admitted due some complication with his health (u got to watch to know what). Ha, part ni memang sedih sangat. To cut story short, in the end they are back together as a happy family and their father has accepts the fact that his children are all grown up with their own life and problems. Takde macam drama melayu yang in the end lawat kubur dan ada hadis or ayat al-quran di akhir cerita. Very simple and heart warming story and funny as well. Robert De Niro is superb, love him! I want to watch it again!



The reason why i love this movie so much is that, my parents are like that as well. My mother is the one we go to if we have any story, may it be good or bad. And she is always understanding, not judgmental and calm. Unlike our father which will be worried too much. As a children we always try to impress especially our father because he always very expressive of what he expect from us. So to tell him bad news or problem is a bit harder. Hence, the distant from his children. The recent tragedy of my brother's condition proves the point. My father was the one worries too much to the point macam a bit mental dah. Sampaikan any bad news on my brother's condition kitorang memang tak cerita terus terang kat dia. He would broke down and cry like a child. My mother was calmer and easier to handle. So this is why i am so sad when i watch this movie, because it is familiar.



Those yang tak tengok lagi but love this kind of movie please do search for it. Everybody's Fine. I include here the movie's trailer. Oh, and here are more details of the story if you are keen (from wikipedia).

Cry Movie

Remember the Movie Ombak rindu? Was a hit last time. I seldom layan malay movie but i couldn't resist not watching Ombak Rindu. Orang rata-rata cakap best so i yang perasan hipster ni ofcourse curious nak tengok jugak kan. So i did watched them. Not in cinema but i downloaded them from youtube. Hmmm...as usual, malay movie ni memang indah khabar dari rupa. Tak best langsung and very slow & mellow, not my cup of tea. Most people said sedih la, menangis la but i tak dapat part mana perlu nangis. Bila sampai part mellow or sedih i macam tak sabar for it to be over because too dragging, and not supposedly sad plus the background music is so annoying (macam suara hantu pun ada). Maybe sensitive spot orang lain-lain kot. I don't get it some of you got it.

Okla, i actually want to share some movie that made me cry. What scene that touches my heart and keluarkan air mata jantan i (ada ke air mata jantan??) The reason i make this post is because yesterday i watched Desperate Housewives on TV. It was an episode where Mike (Susan's husband) been shot and died. They were reminiscing good moments with Mike and it made them sad. Me, with my experience losing my dear brother, i cried. Maybe because what they said about someone dying and not being able to see him again in their life got me because it was what i really felt when i lost my brother. So here are some movie that i cried to. Yang i still ingat la.


A Walk To Remember

Love story. Adapted from a book. Kisah pasal young love. If i tell you that it is about a girl with cancer, be friended with the most popular guy in school and soon the guy fell for her, mesti you ingat ala cerita biasa la tu, so cliche. Well, you have to watch that movie first. It is a beautiful love story. So beautiful that, i cried when they finally got married. Sedih tau! hehehehe..i watch this movie so many times and it still gets me.


P.S I Love You

Again, love story adapted from story book. Ni cerita dia lagi best. Not so cliche la. A woman, grieving on her husband's death due to cancer. All these while she did not realized that she relied on her husband on most things and when he is gone she was helpless and devastated. Her husband knew better, before he died he left several letters for her wife to read. Each letter is a guidance to her wife to move on. So loving i tell you! I cried when she reminisce the good moments of how her husband took care of her and love her. Haih, memang meleleh la air mata.


Armageddon

You all mesti tau movie ni kan. Memangla movie ni action movie. But part yang Bruce Willis sacrificed to switch place with Ben Affleck memang moment yang sangat syahdu bagi i, especially went his daughter Liv Tyler flashback good moments with her father in few seconds. Air mataku bejujuran mengalir tiap kali tiba part tu!

Forrest Gump

I first watched this movie when i was very young. Watched in cinema with my dad. Ada few moments dalam movie tu yang menyayat hati. I ni memang ada soft spot dgn watak orang bendul or autism. Kalau you bagi i tengok cite pasal austism or terencat akal, bila sampai part sedih most of the time i akan nangis. Maybe watak orang macam tu macam suci je, so i got sensitive when they are sad. Anyway, this movie particularly is one of the best movie i ever watched.


The Lovers

This is a chinese movie. Cinta antara dua darjat. Set in the ancient times, ala time zaman dulu-dulu where chinese men simpan rambut panjang, pandai kung fu terbang-terbang semua. The love story is so sad. About  this poor guy, met this girl in an all boys school. That girl is from rich family (keluarga bangsawan), was sent to study at all boys school (because that time women not suppose to go to school) and disguise as a boy. So jumpa la mamat miskin ni, become friends and soon the girl fell in love with him and revealed herself. So this young love finished study and hoping to marry each other. Well, dah nama pun antara dua darjat kan, ofcourse la family girl tu tak bagi. To add more drama this guy mati (lepas kena belasah). To cut story short, this girl in the end mati jugak on the day she was suppose to marry a man her family chose for her. Haih memang syahdu gila la jalan cite dia. Early part of the story quite funny, cute and syok je tengok the couple. Maybe also because these two couple have chemistry. Half towards the end memang berendam air mata la. Even when i sleep i teringat balik cerita ni i nangis lagi. Over kan? Well, that was when i was still in high school...jiwa belum kental lagi. Hahahaha!

Those are all the movie i can remember crying over. Most are love story. I enjoy good love story that touches my heart. Like i said, different people have different sensitivity. Ada yang tengok Ombak Rindu nangis, ada tengok katun pun nangis.  Now tell me, what movie made you cry?

Singapore Trip 2012

As been told, i will blog about my Singapore trip. Well, takde apa sangat nak story about the Singapore itself. Singapore macam Malaysia  la jugak keadaan die. Like KL. Full of high-rise building, some with excellent architecture. Can't really say much about Singapore as we only been around Orchard Road (our hotel was there) and Universal Studio. Plan to go Singapore Zoo cancelled, Bugis Street cancelled, to eat Singapore's cuisine tulang merah and murtabak spore also cancelled. All because we were too tired. As a Malaysian in Singapore, converting RM, we felt like we are damn poor over there because everything were so expensive, we always have to do a mental calculation (times 2.5) whenever we looked at price tags. Ok i'll share our experience there. Warning: will be a lengthy post, if malas nak baca just scroll down for pictures.

Arrived at Changi airport at 10a.m. The airport was huge with lots of shop (mostly branded ones). Straight away took a cab to our hotel. Managed to checked-in early so we just dump our bag and went strolling along Orchard Road. Orchard Road was actually a place full of shops & shopping malls. Macam ala Bukit Bintang area la but even more shops, 70% of the shops are the high-end ones and we all tak bother pun nak masuk (almaklumla dalam poket cuma ada SGD1000 je). Memang we all jalan till the end of the road lah. We browse around the mall to find any eateries with Halal food but to our disappointment none are certified Halal except for fast food (ie Mcd & KFC). Even kedai roti pun tak halal because they mix those with pork filling with other buns. Nasib my kids tak meroyan kat kedai tu when we put back the buns from our tray. Lots of interesting cafe but like i said, not confident to dine there due to the mix of halal & non-halal (pork) foods. Luckily just nearby our hotel ada mamak restaurant which sells quite delicious nasi beriani & roti canai. So you can guess now where we ate.

Initial plan was to go Singapore Zoo on the day we arrived but cancelled pasal takut nanti kalut, sampai lewat kat zoo macam rugi pulak (the zoo closes at 6pm). Also plan nak singgah Bugis Street, but cancelled because we walked so much at Orchard Road on that day, kaki pun dah sakit, the kids were cranky, perut pun dah lapar & totally exhausted due to early morning flight.

Night time we went out again for a walk around Orchard Road, which were totally different environment from daytime. Daytime was full of people clad in office attire being busy & serious, while nighttime was more relax, lots of people relaxing walking along the street. Buildings & malls were all light up with beautifully. There were street performance, which were quite interesting to watch. Also the cafe & bar were full house and some eateries open 24hrs or closing late on weekend night. So definitely a happening nightlife at Spore town.We ate McDonald for dinner because we wanted to try the Spore menu and it was wayyy more expensive than Malaysia's.

Next day we went to Universal Studio! Which was the most interesting part of our trip. I won't tell it now, will make another post about it soon!

Then come the day we have to say bye-bye to Singapore. Woke up early morning so that we can have breakfast at McDonald. Why McDonald again? Because i want to drink their coffee from their McCafe. McCafe is an additional coffee-house in McDonald. I don't know why they don't have this in Malaysia. Hatyai pun ada McCafe tau! I ordered Caramel latte and it was damn good, as good as those Starbucks & Coffee Beans, and cheaper as well. Even on McDonald's breakfast menu you can choose to either have coffee or cappuccino. I hope Malaysia catch up on this fast, i want more selection on coffee! After breakfast we went to H&M because i want to spend my SGD and also because there was no H&M in Malaysia and also because they have wonderful collection of children's clothes at reasonable price. I spent most of my money there just buying my kids' clothes. No clothes for me because i was not in the mood to buy any clothes for myself.

At last minute, upon realizing that there was no way we gonna fit everything we bought in 1 bag (most of stuff we bought at Universal Studio were big) . Since i only bought 15kg checked-in luggage, we would have to pay additional at the airport. So cepat-cepat i whatsapp my friend to buy additional 15kg bag online. Then we bought additional luggage, a wheel luggage (because we don't have one yet). We checked-out at 12pm and took cab to airport. Flight time was 4pm and we have sooo much time at the airport. Luckily there were lots of shop to browse. Changed our leftover SGD to RM. We only brought back balance of RM650. After that what's left for us was SGD17, and i spent it on a chocolate that cost me SGD14.90. So we were at the airport till fly time. Landed LCCT at almost 6pm. Just glad we were in Malaysia again! The land where halal food are everywhere, wet toilets with water in the loo and most importantly, stuff were cheaper!

Now pictures time...

Arrived at Changi Airport. Feeling touristy. Or orang kampung? hahaha

Strolling along Orchard Road

Cold Stone is an ice cream shop. Looks really interesting. Night time lots people queuing but didn't had the chance to try pasal overslept lepas balik Universal Studio.

Yummy desserts. Did not dare to try due to the keraguan Halal and also very expensive. SGD10 for mini pie..it is about RM25 tau tak!

 

Shop..shop..at H&M!

Night time at Orchard Road. Above pic is one of the street performer. He just stood still most the time and dance slow motion with the background music.

Dinner at McD. This burger is yummy! Very soft buns and lots of vegetables. Similar to GCB here.

This McCafe i told you about. Delicious Caramel latte!

Just want to share Pizza Hut menu available there. Interesting kan? Look at the lobster, tak tahaann! Bila Malaysia gonna have this as well?

My H&M haul. Kids clothes. Most of them are Dania's.

At the airport again. My daughter was an exhausted traveler indeed!

What we did at Sarawak kampung

Initial plan was going to post this as soon as i am back. But you know la, was caught up with stuff and very the malas to upload pictures. Still want to blog about since i want to keep it as a memory.

Back to my husband's hometown at Sarawak was all fun & play. Well, for my husband and son at least. You know, like kampung folks always do. Where you can run & play anywhere you desire due to ample space. At town you have to find a field or playground to do that and usually there are full of people. Kalau nak main depan umah harap porch kecik tu takyah la, tak thrill nak main keja-kejar pun. Depan tu dah jalan kereta lalu-lalang kan. Like me even worse, live in an apartment without a porch or even any space for my kids to run around.  That is why my son always compare his house with others. "Rumah Adam tak cantik, rumah Adam kecik". Sorry Adam ye..tunggu bapak hang jadi director company kita pindah rumah banglo ada laman besar padang bola.

To add more fun, all my nieces & nephews were there as well. Anak abang-abang & kakak my husband pun dah 12 orang. So you can imagine how kecoh it was and how syok my son was playing non-stop. My husband pun sama je. He and his brothers were doing all sort of things, macam ketua budak-budak tu je.

The backyard was huge. So Adam & cousins just run around doing god knows what. Dania was also sibuk kejap.

Playing badminton. I wanted to play as well but takde chance. No opportunity to pegang the racket pun. 

The weather was windy. An opportunity to fly kites. Self-made kites from plastik sampah. Yang excited main tu adalah golongon belia. The kids just happy to see the kites dancing in the sky. 

Some other activities were not caught on camera.

They also did some fishing. Caught some ikan puyu. Ugly fish! 

And also went to nearby beach to kick ball, play sand & run around like crazy.

Whenever it rains or late night or they are out of idea to play what or tired, they play games. Nintendo, PS or computer games. Sampai gaduh kekadang dok rebut main. 

Well that were what the kids & men in the house did. Wonder what i did?

Most of the time i was eating. Lots of seafood. Had ikan terubuk and shrimps everyday for lunch & dinner. Also my favourite 'suman'. Only sold at my husband's kampung. It is so chewy & delicious which made from tepung sagu with seafood filling, wrap by not sure what and bakar. Sedap sungguh, especially while it is hot! Yummeehh!

Andddd, while not eating and time in between eating all i did was these:

Sleeping. Had my afternoon nap everyday. Which i rarely do when at home even on weekend.

Reading. Able to finish these 2. If not it will took me few months to finish 1 book because i simply can't find enough decent time to read peacefully. 

Play games on Ipad. When Dania was not hogging it to watch Upin Ipin

Very productive kan?? I was so relax there, the only thing missing was a massage session at spa! I also manage to watch some crap tv shows. You know when on weekdays, tv is full of those crap soap operas, dramas and nonsense movie. I even watch KL Gangster 2 from beginning to end tau! Selalunya memang akan elak la movie macam tu. But that time my brother in law layan cite tu, i got nothing else to do. Layannn jelaaaaa. 1 1/2 hour just wasted on that! Was so proud of myself. LOL!

 Time flew away just like that, till it was time to be back home. Where reality hits me with work, stock market, fussy clients, impossible brokerage targets, house chores and screaming kids. Well..life must go on!