Baby No.3

My third baby already 6 month old, baru la mak dia nak terhegeh-hegeh nak update blog kan. Well, taking care of baby is handful you know. Plus i always at home being slaves to my 3 kids mana la ada masa nak duduk depan laptop karang cerita. Nak check email pun susah oiiii...

My baby was born on 2nd May 2016, around 7pm (lupa exact time). That day was labour day replacement leave (labour day on 1st May, which fell on Sunday), so my husband ada kat rumah. The night before entah nape memang dah tak boleh tidur, tak sakit pun but i couldn't sleep till about 4am kot. That day about 9am i nak gi breakfast dengan my mother, she came few days earlier to take care of me during confinement. Suddenly terasa macam kejang below my abdomen, where you feel period paid. Time dok pikir aik, tak kan dah contraction kot. I was on my 38th weeks, last time i deliver my daughter also on 38th week. I igonore je sakit tu, pegi je breakfast. Tapi time breakfast tu memang dok makin kerap rasa sakit, every 15min macam tu. Balik rumah husband tanya nak gi hospital ke? Actually that day i dah plan nak gi lunch rumah my cousin, so i cakap kat husband after lunch sana kita terus gi hospital because i also taknak kena tahan lama kat wad, boleh lagi tahan sakit ni.

Dah sampai rumah my cousin around 2pm, the pain became intense. Tengah sembang pun boleh chup jap pasal nak tahan sakit. My cousins gelak je tengok i berkerut tahan sakit. Gigih jugak la makan. Sedap lauk dia oiii..pantang nanti takleh melantak sukati dah. Habis makan, i mintak permission my cousin nak mandi kat rumah dia sebelum serah diri kat hospital. After bath terus mintak diri pasal dah sakit sangat and jarak contraction pun makin dekat.

Admitted hospital around 5pm. Nurse check dah buka 4cm, katanya dinding rahim dah lembut. After my doc pecahkan air ketuban tu, bermula la detik meronta-ronta atas katil tahan sakit yang setengah mati. Pegang besi katil punya la kuat pasal nak tahan sakit. Bila time nak teran keluar i dah jadi letih. That time dok pikir kalau doc nak operate pun i bagi je pasal tak larat dah teran. So doc keluar la mesin vacum to expediate the process. Alhamdulillah akhirnya keluar jua anak lelaki ku yang bernama Aidan Amir dengan berat 3.1kg. Tak terkata leganya setelah keluar. Really, birthing experience is really really special. Sebab tu la para ibu memang terasa sangat kalau anak buat lebih kurang kat dia kann. Eh sebak plak dok type ni.

Syukur Alahamdulillah, Aidan dilahirkan dengan sihat. Dah nak masuk 7 bulan dan dia tak pernah sakit or demam. Mungkin pasal kali ni dapat directly breasfeed him fully and personally jaga dia sepenuh masa. Kita tengok hasilnya nanti, ada beza tak Aidan ni yg dijaga sepenuhnya by me dan kakak & abangnya yang dijaga pengasuh. Apa pun, harap jadila insan yang terbaik dan membanggakan ibu bapa. Amiiiinnnn..

Miscarriage Experience

Sebelum ni i pernah janji nak cerita pasal my miscarriage kan? It was one memorable experience for me. I was actually kind of traumatized by it. It was nothing like what i expected i would feel, physically or emotionally. That is why i want to make a post in my blog, untuk kenangan and sharing. Expect this post to be a really looooong one. Kalau rajin baca la ye.

Me and husband been trying for baby no.3 for more than a year, since my second daughter was 4 years old. My last effort was the ovulation test. With this ovulation detector at least we know when is the right time to consumate. Nak jadikan cerita i finally got pregnant. My period was late, and i was in process of moving house. I was ecstatic when i found out i was pregnant, i think dah dekat 2 bulan time tu. Since we were busy nak pindah rumah, i delayed appointment with doctor. Lagipun fikir awal lagikan, bukan nampak apa pun, i was fine on my last 2 pregnancy so i was confident with the 3rd one.

Bezanya pregnancy ni is the nausea. Mual, muntah and tak lalu makan. And i lost weight. Mungkin jugak sebab stress pindah rumah. I was thinking that time, nausea is a good sign. Means the baby is ok. How wrong i was kannn??

Now come my first pregnancy check ups. I was 3 months plus that time. But the scan showed i was only at 6 weeks. And no heartbeat or movement. Just a sight of the sac. Being positive, doctor said maybe it was too early. Next appointment is another 2 weeks, to see whether there is any development. He didn't mention about the baby not being there, thus both of us never thought it would happen. We still think i was pregnant, only miscalculated the period and it was too early.

Ni contoh empty sac yang nampak time scan.

Then came the bleeding. I was at work, in a toilet lepas basuh i wipe with tissue and i saw some stains on it. It was light colored blood. Macam lendir pun ada. I was panicked. What can it beeee???? Haritu rasanya dekat 10x masuk toilet kot nak check. Everytime i wipe there is blood, tapi takdela banyak macam darah menstrual tu. Told my husband, dia cakap mungkin temporary je kot. Yes sometime it happens during early pregnancy, i googled it. Tapi hati mana tak risau kan. Gundah gulana je rasa, semua kawan yang pernah go through miscarriage i tanya. The worries got really tense after few days when lagi banyak darah keluar. Tapi punyala degil tak pegi jugak jumpa doc. Entahla mungkin i was afraid if my biggest fear is true.

The truth finally known bila visit my doc on next appointment. The scan showed no progess. Only empty sac. No baby inside. Doc cakap 'rumah dah siap tapi baby tak jadi'. Sedihnya time tu. My husband lagila mood berubah because he didn't expect it.  He did not talk much on our way back home. Kenala terima takdir kan. Takde rezeki lagi. Time tu dok fikir aku ni dah ada 2 anak pun feel distraught, how la couple yang belum ada anak rasa kalau miscarriage kan.

Doc bagi options, buat d&c (cuci rahim), tunggu je benda tu turun keluar sendiri or makan pil paksa keluar. Time tu masih lagi terkejut dan blur, i cakap je nak tunggu. So doc suruh wait for 2 weeks. I read that if your body is healthy benda tu akan turun sendiri, its like your body will automatically get rids if the unwanted stuff in your body.

Dalam seminggu tu dah turun darah macam period. One day tu banyak sangat flow dia. I was at work that time. Rasa heavy flow je time tu, terus lari gi toilet nak check. Tengah panjat tangga tu rasa macam meleleh kat kaki. Masuk dalam toilet masyaAllah dah horror keadaan time tu. The blood was soooo many, my pants was drenched with blood. Ada jugak ketulan macam hati ayam berterabur kat lantai toilet. Wahhh....seramnya time tu. Terus minta kat boss nak balik rumah.

Got medical leave for 2 weeks. Alhamdulillah benda tu turun keluar semuanya tanpa perlu go through d&c. Proses keluar tu took about 1 week, ada hari sakit macam you are having massive period cramp. Tapi sakit lagi contraction nak beranak. So sakit ni takde apa sangat la banding sakit setengah mati nak beranak tu. Hahahaha.

Emotionally i was traumatized and blaming myself. Yela time tu letih pindah rumah, angkat barang and cuci rumah semua. Doc said it wasn't because of that. Tapi tetap rasa bersalah. The experience memang takleh lupa. But takdela trauma sampai taknak buat anak dah.

Nak jadi cerita, lepas 1st period after miscarriage tu i got pregnant again. Means 2 months after my miscarriage. This time memang hati-hati la. Awal2 lagi dah gi jumpa doc. And now i am 32weeks pregnant and my edd is on 17th May. I am expecting another boy. Please pray for us ya.

Tak sabar nak tunggu new baby. This is his blanket that i knit myself.

Perkara Fashion Blogger Malaysia Harus Tahu

Memilih kerjaya sebagai fashion blogger bukanlah satu kerjaya yang mudah seperti yang anda sangkakan. Mungkin ramai diantara anda yang menganggap kerjaya sebagai penulis atau blogger merupakan satu kerjaya yang mampu dilakukan oleh sesiapa sahaja. Namun, penting untuk anda ketahui bahawa, keupayaan untuk menulis satu risalah atau artikel yang menarik bukanlah satu perkara yang mudah. 

Mungkin sesiapa sahaja boleh menulis, tetapi untuk menulis satu bahan yang menarik memerlukan bakat dan minat yang mendalam. 

Oleh itu, jika anda mempunyai impian untuk memulakan kerjaya sebagai seorang penulis atau fashion blogger Malaysia, berikut merupakan beberapa perkara yang harus anda ketahui dan jadikan panduan;

 

1. Untuk menulis mengenai fesyen, anda haruslah mempunyai pengetahuan yang meluas mengenai bidang fesyen. Oleh itu, banyakkan membaca majalah-majalah yang berkaitan dengan dengan fesyen dan gunakan internet untuk mengetahui perkembangan trend fesyen terkini. Tanpa pengetahuan yang cukup atau ‘strong knowledge’, anda pasti tidak boleh menulis dengan baik. 
    
2. Selain mempunyai pengetahuan yang mendalam mengenai dunia fesyen, anda juga harus betul-betul meminati bidang fesyen. Tanpa minat yang mendalam, sukar untuk anda menjadi seorang penulis yang baik.

3.  Seterusnya, anda juga harus bijak bereksperimen trend-trend fesyen yang terkini. Tetapi, hati-hati jangan sampai anda menjadi mangsa fesyen!  

4. Tonton rancangan fesyen di TV atau hadiri majlis-majlis yang berkaitan dengan fesyen untuk anda mempunyai pengalaman secara langsung dalam dunia fesyen.

Being sentimental

I have told you all that now i am working from home right? So i am slave to my kids now. Everyday nak pikir apa nak bagi depa makan. Like today, Adam kena pegi sekolah awal, so kenala masak lunch awal. Tapi alangkah leganya dia cuma nak toasted egg sandwich. Kalau tak memang kena bersilat awal sikit untuk sediakan satu lauk for their lunch. Kalau masak lauk untuk anak-anak ni semuanya ikut taste diorang. Tak pedas. I am a spicy eater. Memang tak lalu sangat la nak makan nasi dengan lauk tak pedas. So i end up just makan untuk isi perut, since tengah pregnant kena la makan jugak kan. I think that is the reason my weight doesn't increases that much this time. On my last 2 pregnancy i gained almost 20kg tau! But this time, at 6 months i only gained 3kg. Baguih la jugak macam tu. Badan pun asal macam peti ais dah, kalau tambah lagi jenoh laaa nak kurangkan lepas beranak nanti. Umur pun dah lanjut, metabolisme dah slow!

Basically being a housewife, most of my time adalah melayan anak-anak, especially yang girl tu. I think she will be my bff. Everyday kena layan kerenah dia, since she only attend half day school. Dia buka kedai makan kita la customer, dia bukan kedai runcit kita jugak customer, dia buka klinik kita jugak la pesakit (dah banyak kali dah dia keluarkan baby dari perut i) dan kalau dia main playdoh kita jugak la kena bagi idea suruh dia buat apa. Kalau dia diam tu means she is with her tab watching youtube videos. To lessen her youtube time, i try to engage her in activity. Beli some art & crafty stuff untuk dia, atau bagi jela water color, kertas & gunting, leka la kejap dia buat keja. Kalau rajin we bake cake.Kalau lagi rajin, bawak la dia keluar gi makan ice cream.

Bila anak depan mata we become very very concern if we don't do enough for them. I always worried. Selalu pikirkan, sampai bila my kids akan mengharapkan i. When they are no longer dependent on me, i will sure miss it. Sampai bila diorang will come to me and tell story of their day and ask silly questions? The day will come when they only want be in their room and no longer need our assistance. Will i be sad? Now when they still need me, i try my best to layan them every possible way. Walaupun anak-anak i ni suka merepek bila bercerita, layan je laaaa.

Panjang pulak merepek. I inspired to type this post when i was having roti canai with my eldest and dia mintak suapkan pasal taknak kotorkan tangan bila baca komik. Time tu pikirkan, they will come a time when my boy dah segan nak manja macam ni. Every little thing counts as memory. Oh i hope i am not the only one being sentimental here. I pray my kids will think of me, my time spend with them even though they no longer need me. Sigh, I guess it is my pregnancy hormones making me overly sentimental.

Blogging mood is back!

Wow, it's been too long right? Malasnya lahai nak buka blog ni update. I pun dah lama tak baca blog orang lain. Can't be bothered anymore. Not that i been super busy, just goes on with life as usual. But today, suddenly rindu nak jenguk blog kot kot la dah tukar jadi blog lain dah. It happens you know, where someone uses your blog url and directed it other non sense website. But i guess it won't happen to me kot pasal blog i bukan femes pun kannn. So finally i decided to activate my log and try to update it now and then when i have the mood to. Ada lagi ke pembaca?? Hahahaha...

As expected, lottttsssss of things happened while i am away. Nak story one by one harusla panjang berjela kan, and i hate reading long winding posts. So as usual i will summarize everything in points on what been going on in my life. Only those momentous one.

• I am currently 5months++ pregnant with my third child *YAY* Been trying to get pregnant since last year, Alhamdulillah baru ada rezeki tahun ni. Before this, i keguguran on the 6th week. My miscarriage experience was interesting. I will share it in another post soon. My edd will be on mid May. Doakan everything goes on well for me ok?

• We bought a landed house! We moved to our new house around April last year. It was a second hand house located at the same taman as our apartment. Memang nak cari within the same taman pun because it is easier for the kids' school and transportation arrangements. Our house kecik je. It was a renovated house with kitchen cabinets & extensions, it only need a new coat of paint and we renovated the toilets. The costs of buying & moving houses are scary. I am glad everything is settled now and we have our own landed house with our own porch where my kids can cycle & play. The best part is, no more climbing the stairs..Yayy! We rent our apartment, belum masuk rumah baru dah ada orang datang nak sewa. Asalkan depa sanggup panjat tangga, i ok je!  

 

• Another big thing happened in my life is that i was no longer working. End of last year, i requested for CTS (career transition scheme). Ala macam VSS la gak, nama je lain. The reason was that i was bored & had enough of how things work at my workplace. I've been working there for 12 years and i don't see myself going anywhere with my career in the future, not with the current management. So CTS is an easy way out. Not sure if it was a good decisions but i was determined. Currently i still doing trading but commission based. Work from home, because i want to take care of my kids. So far so good. At least i am happy. No more Monday blues or office routine. My life is all about my kids now. With new baby coming soon, i am actually excited to be able to take care of him/her exclusively by myself. Semoga Allah permudahkan segalanya.  

 I think that are all i can share on this post. Kan nak cerita yang penting je kan. Lagipun nak prepare lunch for my boy yang nak pegi sekolah nanti. Yang lain in next next post la ye, when i have the mood to. Thank you for reading. Assalamualaikum!