Cerita Puasa

1 week to Syawal. I guess still not too late to wish Selamat Berpuasa to all of you. 

1 more week for us to gain as much pahala as we can. Bulan Ramadhan ni kan hadiah untuk kita dari Allah. Kalau dah hadiah sure special & meaningful kan? So don't put it to waste, cepat dapatkan pahala berganda sepanjang Ramadhan.

My son, Adam never miss a day of fasting. MasyaAllah, he is strong. When i was his age, balik skolah memang lembik macam budak kebulur kat Afrika. But Adam, tak macam tu. Dia aktif lari sana sini. Adala jugak komplen haus. Tapi mulut je cakap haus, physically still active.

Teringat zaman i puasa dulu. Tak salah time darjah 2 kot. I got all sort of ideas to kelentong nak minum air. Paling kelakar was this one time when Sustagen datang buat promo kat sekolah. Tak sensitive sungguh buat time puasa. If you are about the same age as me, mesti ingat maskot Sustagen Susy & Geno.

They came as a promo to Sustagen drinks. They dance & sing  and last slot is hand out free Sustagen drinks. Bila nak bagi drinks tu cikgu cakap, siapa yang tak puasa boleh datang ke depan berbaris ambil minuman. I yang memang takde niat betul & luhur untuk berpuasa cepat bangun beratur. Sedap uollzz! Tak rasa nyesal & bersalah langsung batal puasa. Hahahahaha...

Nak jadi cerita, ada la spy pi report kat my parents cakap i tak puasa. Apa lagi, kena interrogate la dengan diorang. You all tau apa alasan i bagi? Memang stupid punya alasan. I told them yang i tak sengaja minum. Ada budak tu terjatuh, and air tu termasuk dalam mulut i. Bodoh tak? Hahaha! My parents just keep silent and i am off the hook. Rasa diorang percaya ke? I think diorang tak tahan nak gelak kot, sebab tu diam je tak marah pun. I harap la my kids takdela buat perangai tak senonoh macam i. Dahla tak puasa, menipu, pastu bagi alasan tak senonoh! hahahaha!

Sekian cerita tak senonoh di bulan puasa ni. 

Actually i am still in sombre mood. Pasal  MH17 tragedy & also what happening to our brothers & sisters in Gaza. So inhumane and it make me soooo mad! Geramnya bila sesama manusia buat macam ni. I am afraid for the future. Proof that we all are only a small spec living helplessly in this world. The only thing i can control is what i did when i am alive, to gain my paradise hereafter. Kena fikir hidup untuk mati, pasal mati akan datang bila-bila dan ia pasti. Takutnya kalau amalan tak cukup bila dipanggil mengadap Allah. Sama-sama la kita berdoa ye, agar kita dilindungi Allah.

Susah nak senang, Senang nak susah

Those yang cakap life is easy obviously still living in lah-lah land. Especially life bila habis belajar, dicampak untuk berdikari dan mencari kerja seperti manusia-robot lain. Bila rasa tanggungjawab itu sudah tiba. Bila rasa taknak susahkan mak bapak dah. So here come my story. Saja nak share kisah kehidupan lampau yang bagi i agak susah tapi ramai lagi yang lagi teramat susah.

As some of you have known, my hometown is in Alor Star, Kedah. Saat habis belajar, memangla balik lepak kat kampung. Tapi kalau nak ikut selesa, senang, settle je kat kampung cari kerja di sana. But..as you know at small state macam Kedah tu peluang pekerjaan pun takla banyak sangat. Mostly kerja gomen je yang kita sedia maklum, susah nak masuk unless ada orang dalam. 

I think i stayed in Alor Star for about 2-3 weeks macam tu ja. Pastu naik bas gi KL. Because most of interviews i dapat dekat KL. So dari dok ulang alik back & forth, baik i dok umah pakcik i kat Ampang ja. Nasib baik di situ pasal ada pakcik yang teramat baik kat sana bagi tumpang, takdak la merempat. Lepas satu persatu interview, berpuluh-puluh resume sent,  tak membuahkan hasil i dah tak keruan. Interview jauh dekat semua redah. Naik taxi, tukar 2-3 bas, kena tipu pun ada..haihh dugaan sungguh! Lama-lama rasa bersalah tu tiba, i had to do something, find something to do, Mana boleh tumpang rumah orang lama-lama free of charge, dok lepak ja kan. Then my friend suruh kerja office pakcik dia kat Damansara. Jadi clerk ja dengan gaji amatla ciput, rasanya tak sampai RM500 pun. Yela, clerk untuk budak SPM ja kan, kat company kecik plak, takkan nak bagi gaji tinggi kot. Jadiiilaaa...janji tak kacau orang, ada duit untuk hidup. 

Bermula lah hidup sebagai buruh kasar. Morning rutin mengadap working crowds dan traffic jam. Dari Ampang nak pi Damnsara bukan dekat oiihh. Naik bas, naik LRT Star, tukar plak LRT Putra, naik plak feeder bus. Baru sampai ofis hang tau! Berpeluh la ketiak mengadap tu semua day in day out. Keluar pagi buta, balik malam buta, himpit dalam dengan mat indon and bangla for 1 hour everyday. 80% of salary pi kat tambang ja. Tinggal balance untuk survive ja. Beli lunch & dinner pun tak mampu. Baju kerja cumalah baju kurung zaman universiti 3-4 helai, dok recycle jela. Tapi memang bernasib baik la sangat, dok umah pakcik. Dapat makcik yang penyayang dan comel, tiap-tiap hari buatkan breakfast. Jadi pagi-pagi makan sket, and bawak penuh satu tupperware as bekal makan lunch. Kalau ada hari yang takdak bekal, turun bawah cari kuih ja pasal memang tak mampu nak beli nasi untuk lunch. Imagine for 3 month plus i keja kat Damansara, takde sekali pun i turun makan lunch like normal working people. Memang tak mampu. For dinner, i taknak kacau pakcik & makcik i, coz diorang memang tak dinner, so i beli 1 bar of Cadbury choc to survive all weeks. Everyday makan satu baris. Kalau lapaq sangat baru singgah beli burger. Ada one time tu, handphone i rosak. Memang takleh nak guna, takdak handphone susah la kan. So i call my dad mintak pinjam duit RM200 beli handphone. Menangis meleleh2 ayaq mata time call tu..pasal rasa bersalah menyusahkan my dad. Walaupun dia tak kisah pun, dia memang ada duit tu..but still rasa sebak.  

Haihh..bila pikir balik macam kesian sangat je kan. Kerja bukan pasal duit sangat. Cuma pasal nak berdikari takmau kacau orang ja. Takmau lepak rumah orang sampai orang meluat. Nak  gain experience kerja. After 3 months, Alhamdulillah i dapat kerja kat syarikat saham in SS2, PJ. Jauh jugak but more salary this time, so takdakla rasa azab sangat. I pindah from Ampang to Cheras. Stay with my best friend and also my colleague. Easier, because she drives, so tumpang dia jela. Untill my beloved grandfather give me his car. A maroon Perodua Kelisa. Punyala syok tak terkata. Selesai banyak masalah. 

Till now, i still work in stock market, in fact in the same company. Life was easier and organized. Ini belum cerita time memula kahwin dulu macam mana nak survive dan seksa nya sampai nangis. That is for another post. Kerja ka..kahwin ka...it is not as easy and happily ever after like what you see in tv or any idealistic perception you had in your mind. Life started to gives you shit when you started taking responsibility.

Thinking what i went through back then make me appreciate my life now. So when i see youngsters or fresh graduates complains and yet still living comfortably with their parents, sipping Starbucks and playing with latest smartphone while instagram-ing having lunch at posh/hip cafe, discussing on next trip to oversea via AirAsia, i betul geleng kepala. You all had it easy lah. I tak cakap semua budak sekarang macam tu, only that those yang complain itu ini tend to be yang jenis itu. Living life now or 10 to 20 years  ago is the same. Takdenya you dulu senang sekarang susah. Cuba tanya orang dulu, cari kerja macam mana. Ada degree oversea pun gaji RM500 ja. Barang dulu memang murah, but gaji pun murah jugak. Always remember, no one owes you a life, except you. Sekian :)

Different Childood

Having kids do makes you feel older. Yela, they grow up so fast and each year they age you couldn't help but feel a lil bit older. Also make you reflect on your own childhood. How different from them and yet we are still the same. Same in natural behavior such as excited about stuff, eager to know, happy go lucky, clumsy, carefree and simplistic. Different in environment, life experience, learning and can i add technology?

On this post I want to share my childhood. I love my childhood. I want to share how different it was from my kids today. Let's do the bullet point thing again ya! :)

• My bapak loves to read. He is the closest bookworm i know. He always nak galakkan kitorang membaca. Coincidentally when i was small he owned a bookshop. So memang banyak koleksi buku kat rumah. I couldn't remember when did i started to know how to read but i do remember having lots of books in my house and i read them or ask my parents to read them for me. So galakkan bapak i menjadi pasal i lekat jadi bookworm jugak (but not my elder sister though). During school holidays he would dump us in the public library sampai petang. I had fun, coz especially during school holiday there were lots of activities & games for us to do besides reading. At least better than hanging out in the malls like kids today right? Free of charge lagi, and also boleh pinjam 3 buku yang kita suka. My bapak never kedekut to buy us books. Like most kids (during my time), i started with Enid Blyton collection. The joy of reading is priceless! How i wish i have as much time to read now and start my own book collection or maybe own a huge bookshelf full of books! 

• Since i was little, i love to travel. But my parents did not have money to spend on vacation. The furthest we went pun KL tu pun macam 3 tahun sekali ja kot. Paling kerap pergi is Penang (i lived in kedah), tu pun pasal my bapak every year join Penang Bridge Marathon (he loves to run). My bapak was aware that i like to travel because i am the only child adventurous like that. He will allow me to go any rombongan sekolah. Atleast rombongan sekolah bayar untuk i seorang je, jimat dari whole family trip kan? So memang pantang ada rombongan gi memana pun i memang eager nak join. Sampai Singapore pun penah. Ada lagi ke rombongan sekolah macam tu sekarang ni ye? One more thing to save money, bapak i akan bagi i tumpang sesiapa yang nak travel. So i ni selalu la dengan muka tak malu tumpang sekaki join my relative pegi holiday. Begitula adanya cara my bapak nak layan kerenah anak dara dia yang suka travel dan tak reti homesick ni. If now nak buat macam tu kat anak i, ikut rombangan berhari-hari ke sana sini time kecik (i started i ikut rombongan since 8yrs old), i rasa i tak allow kot, risau sangat! 

• Sekrang kalau nak let go anak main mesti within eye distant je kan? Budak dulu round satu kampung nak Maghrib baru balik pun rilek je. Eventhough i tak tinggal kat kampung, i still round sana sini without fear. Dulu kalau tanya apa tu pedophile pun i tak tahu. Kalau jalan jauh-jauh pun benda yang paling takut adalah orang gila dan lembu sahaja. Istilah perogol, penculik dan perompak macam tak wujud dalam kamus. Pegi mengaji qur'an tiap-tiap hari jalan 3km pun rilek je walaupun baru tadika. Mak pun tenang kat rumah. Kalaula sekarang, our kids walk alone 500m from home pun rasa gundah gulana dah. Sigh, the freedom we had back than.

Hmm..i tak larat dah nak story banyak-banyak. Got something else to do. My point sharing this are, how i wish my kids life are more than just tv, games and entertainment. Like my first point, i hope my kids develop a reading habit and i wish i have a public library nearby to just dump them and they still enjoy themselves. My second point is travel. Do kids appreciate travelling nowadays? Nowadays it is easy & cheap to travel anywhere and easily take for granted. Do we even have rombongan sekolah now (apart from kidszania and zoo)? And finally the thirtd point. The freedom to let our kids have fun and create a little adventure for themselves. Memang tak la kan. Without parents worry sick and without third party waiting for the chance to attack our kids. Tu belum kira kena langgar kereta ke apa lagi due to lack of ample place to play & run about. 

So did you all get my points? Did you all have the same feeling? I have to accept the reality that my kids will have a different experience growing up. They will find joy in different thing. No matter what, i hope whatever their experience is, they will grow up fine and be a better human than me. Let's pray for that for every children ya! Aminnn....

Cry Movie

Remember the Movie Ombak rindu? Was a hit last time. I seldom layan malay movie but i couldn't resist not watching Ombak Rindu. Orang rata-rata cakap best so i yang perasan hipster ni ofcourse curious nak tengok jugak kan. So i did watched them. Not in cinema but i downloaded them from youtube. Hmmm...as usual, malay movie ni memang indah khabar dari rupa. Tak best langsung and very slow & mellow, not my cup of tea. Most people said sedih la, menangis la but i tak dapat part mana perlu nangis. Bila sampai part mellow or sedih i macam tak sabar for it to be over because too dragging, and not supposedly sad plus the background music is so annoying (macam suara hantu pun ada). Maybe sensitive spot orang lain-lain kot. I don't get it some of you got it.

Okla, i actually want to share some movie that made me cry. What scene that touches my heart and keluarkan air mata jantan i (ada ke air mata jantan??) The reason i make this post is because yesterday i watched Desperate Housewives on TV. It was an episode where Mike (Susan's husband) been shot and died. They were reminiscing good moments with Mike and it made them sad. Me, with my experience losing my dear brother, i cried. Maybe because what they said about someone dying and not being able to see him again in their life got me because it was what i really felt when i lost my brother. So here are some movie that i cried to. Yang i still ingat la.


A Walk To Remember

Love story. Adapted from a book. Kisah pasal young love. If i tell you that it is about a girl with cancer, be friended with the most popular guy in school and soon the guy fell for her, mesti you ingat ala cerita biasa la tu, so cliche. Well, you have to watch that movie first. It is a beautiful love story. So beautiful that, i cried when they finally got married. Sedih tau! hehehehe..i watch this movie so many times and it still gets me.


P.S I Love You

Again, love story adapted from story book. Ni cerita dia lagi best. Not so cliche la. A woman, grieving on her husband's death due to cancer. All these while she did not realized that she relied on her husband on most things and when he is gone she was helpless and devastated. Her husband knew better, before he died he left several letters for her wife to read. Each letter is a guidance to her wife to move on. So loving i tell you! I cried when she reminisce the good moments of how her husband took care of her and love her. Haih, memang meleleh la air mata.


Armageddon

You all mesti tau movie ni kan. Memangla movie ni action movie. But part yang Bruce Willis sacrificed to switch place with Ben Affleck memang moment yang sangat syahdu bagi i, especially went his daughter Liv Tyler flashback good moments with her father in few seconds. Air mataku bejujuran mengalir tiap kali tiba part tu!

Forrest Gump

I first watched this movie when i was very young. Watched in cinema with my dad. Ada few moments dalam movie tu yang menyayat hati. I ni memang ada soft spot dgn watak orang bendul or autism. Kalau you bagi i tengok cite pasal austism or terencat akal, bila sampai part sedih most of the time i akan nangis. Maybe watak orang macam tu macam suci je, so i got sensitive when they are sad. Anyway, this movie particularly is one of the best movie i ever watched.


The Lovers

This is a chinese movie. Cinta antara dua darjat. Set in the ancient times, ala time zaman dulu-dulu where chinese men simpan rambut panjang, pandai kung fu terbang-terbang semua. The love story is so sad. About  this poor guy, met this girl in an all boys school. That girl is from rich family (keluarga bangsawan), was sent to study at all boys school (because that time women not suppose to go to school) and disguise as a boy. So jumpa la mamat miskin ni, become friends and soon the girl fell in love with him and revealed herself. So this young love finished study and hoping to marry each other. Well, dah nama pun antara dua darjat kan, ofcourse la family girl tu tak bagi. To add more drama this guy mati (lepas kena belasah). To cut story short, this girl in the end mati jugak on the day she was suppose to marry a man her family chose for her. Haih memang syahdu gila la jalan cite dia. Early part of the story quite funny, cute and syok je tengok the couple. Maybe also because these two couple have chemistry. Half towards the end memang berendam air mata la. Even when i sleep i teringat balik cerita ni i nangis lagi. Over kan? Well, that was when i was still in high school...jiwa belum kental lagi. Hahahaha!

Those are all the movie i can remember crying over. Most are love story. I enjoy good love story that touches my heart. Like i said, different people have different sensitivity. Ada yang tengok Ombak Rindu nangis, ada tengok katun pun nangis.  Now tell me, what movie made you cry?

Then & Now

Recently, #SayaGenerasi was trending on Twitter. Lots of people, most of them are from my era shared about what hot in the past, while growing up. It was entertaining to read all the tweets because it brings back good old memories, where handphones & internet are still rare and iphone/BB, digital camera, Astro or even our blogspot are non-existence. Life was sooo simple back then. So now i just want to share what i thought was 'in-trend' or maybe funny back then. Maybe some of you can relate and laugh about it. :D

Music:

I love listen to music.Tiap kali sebelum tido akan cucuk earphone dekat telinga dan dengar radio (that time was Radio4, the only english station) sampai la terlelap. That was before radio gone 24hrs, so on midnight lepas 'Negaraku' song, dah ended. So i will switch to cassete player. Dulu nak beli album mana la ada duit sangat, so the only way nak kumpul lagu2 yang best dalam cassete was to standby at the radio, lagu favourite on air je trs tekan button 'record & play' serentak to record it. Funny thing was, kekadang tu DJ dah inform in advance my favourite song gonna played soon, tapi iklan dulu pulak dah..and that time i really-really tak tahan nak pegi toilet so i just record the whole thing including those iklan dan DJ blabbering. Sekarang senang je, download je lagu kat internet, walaupun it is illegal & unethical to do that.

Handphone:

I got my own handphone when i was 18. Even on that time handphone was very exclusive, not all can afford it ok! Tambahan dulu handphone call charges amatla mahal kalau dibanding dengan fixed line. I bukan anak orang kaya, my father bought me secondhand handphone so that i can easily be contacted because that time baru masuk Matrikulasi. My handphone was Erricsson T10 warna kuning (sekarang Sony Erricson), time tu hot kot handphone tu! The smallest & colored handphone that time. SMS 30sen satu ok...mahai nak mampus! Ada skali tu sampai RM300 bil, memang kena bebel dengan my father la time tu. Funny thing was, if you want a funky ringtones instead of the boring ringing sound, you can compose your own song. Time tu sibuk la cari tone notes tu dalam majalah or internet. Tone notes tu lebih kurang rupa macam ni "2a11a 3cd8ee", means that we have to type that in our handphone to create one song or string of tones. Some of the famous one was Mission Impossible, Doraemon, Pink Panther, Looney Tunes. Those with rare ringing tones are considered cool! Konon!

Fashion:

When i was in me teen, baggy & tomboyish clothes are sooo in. So brands like Body Glove, Quicksilver, Ocean Pacific, Vans was famous. They are expensive as well. But gagah jugak nak beli. I am in all girls school you see..so showing off what you got is norm, especially those branded ones. We were trying to imitates those southern American teen, a cool carefree look. Selekeh but bergaya. Baggy oversized tee or flannel shirts, pair up with Doc Marten boots or Vans sneakers...we are sooo bergaya ok! For those who are more into lady like look, will opt for Guess. Wearing baby tee and fitted body hugging tee with jeans or mini skirt (think Clueless).

Movies:

When i was a kid, adventure & fantasy movies like Never Ending Story, Back To The Future, The Goonies, Indiana Jones, Wizard of Oz and Disney cartoons (Cinderella, Pinochio, Little Mermaid) was the highlight. And also those funny P.Ramlee movies.I love those movies and watch it over and over again. When in my teen i am more into teen flicks. Cerita tentang riang ria remaja yang carefree and very trendy. Some of the movies i adore are Clueless, Empire Records, Hackers, Reality Bites, Grease and so much more i couldn't remember. Dulu cuma boleh sewa or beli tape. Sebelum tengok kena rewind tape dulu yang sungguh membazirkan masa! Every weekend will frequent the video shop and rent some good & latest movie tape kat kedai Cina. Jalan kakai jauh-jauh pun sanggup.Funny thing was, sometime accidentally rented those 18sx movie because attracted to the title without knowing what movie it is...terkejut mak tetiba terkeluar scene yang tak sepatutnya. Hahahahaha.

Internet:

When internet was introduced in Malaysia, it was still a luxury thing to have in household, due to the high charges. Before i have internet at home, i frequent cyber cafe but only for chatting. Dulu mana ada blog lagi, kalau nak create blog or websites you got to master lots of those complicated html codes and download some softwares, memang susah dan leceh for orang buta IT macam i ni. Dulu cuma ada Yahoo!, so i just browse through yahoo to read latest news. After ada internet at home (18yrs old that time), makin ligat la chatting through MIRC. Berkenalan dengan strangers, bersembang dengan kawan dan juga menipu orang. Rindu nak dengar bunyi bingit everytime want to connect to internet (Jaring 1515), bazir masa tunggu! Funny thing was, i like to chat in Yahoo Chat as well because there i could chat with foreigners and polish my English. So they were very advanced at chatting already, one time i was invited to 'sex chat'. Oblivious of what coming i was trapped in a sexual conversation where he actually expressing every sexual gestures with me. Awkward!!! I just laugh and log off. Hahahaha!

Trends:

Most of people in my era did or may be gone through this. So i just list out what was trending back then. Boyband (backstreet boys, 911, boyzone, 4U2C), Japan drama, Rakan Muda, Iklan murahan tapi epic seperti Dendang, Tora, Adabi, Follow Me, Axion etc, Tamagochi, Brick games, bawak 50sen ke sekolah masih boleh makan nasi lemak, minum air dan beli keropok, Book strap untuk ikat buku teks sekolah (wajib ada), Drama cina pukul 6 ptg, gone to Public Library to borrow books, roller blades, friendship bands, pencil box with many compartment, paper dolls, watch Friends to learn English and also other sit-coms such as Blossoms, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Sabrina The Teenage Witch and also some good series such as X-Files & ER...and sooo much more!

If you are still smiling remembering those sweet memories, read here http://knowyourethirty.tumblr.com. Sure you will laugh how silly we were back than. But still, life was soooo simple & easily satisfied! Miss that!

Heartthrob

I might be too old talking about heartthrob. Well, every woman at point of her life do or did have their own heartthrob right? I am talking about celebrity heartthrob not the kind that you spot cute guy in school or mall, you go crazy stalk him and went ga-ga whenever you stumbles upon him.

Mesti semua pun ada your choice of celebrity heartthrob masa muda-mudi dulu kan..kan...eleeehhh, jangan tipu! Tersenyum tersengih sorang-sorang depan TV as if kalau boleh nak terjun masuk kat dalam TV tu peluk your heartthrob. May it be an actor or singer or even TV presenter/ VJ..we had our own silly moments whenever they appear on TV. Malam-malam sebelum tido belek gambar or tenung poster kat dinding lama-lama sambil fikiran terawang-awang beimaginasi berlari berpegang tangan persis adengan romantik drama Korea. Aik...wait, maybe i am the only one doing that, am i??? Well what ever la..i am guilty of that and i am not ashamed to admit it because it was fun and what made me happy then. I did not end up as a psychopath stalker but actually turn out to be a decent & normal woman, happily married with kids!

Ok enough merepek. Here are some of heartthrobs that made me crazy in love and rock my life!

Ala-ala-laaa....cute nya!

Yess baby, i had this poster on my wall. Imagine my family & friends 'ewww' face whenever they entered my room!

Take That!!! A boyband from UK. I am fanatic about them. Most of my teenage life evolved around them. Posters all over the room, airing their song continuously every single moments, not one single day i did not mention Take That in my conversation (sampai my siblings buat betting cabar i berpuasa dari cakap anything related to Take That for one day), owned every magazine, books, video, cassettes etc that related to Take That, forced my family & friends to support me by contributing any Take That stuff or even articles to me and some other crazy stuff that a fanatics would have done at that time accept for stalking them since they are sooo far away. That time i corresponded with several Take That fans in Europe and Australia (having oversea pen pal was norm at that time) so that we can share stories and exchange posters. I even had the same haircut as them (Robbie or Mark). Memang gila ahhhhhhh!

Ok enough of boyband. Now come the real heartthrob. Guys that keep me drooling and the hero of my nasty imagination. Takeshi Keneishiro and Takuya Kimura. Both are asian and Japanese (takeshi is half japanese). I prefer asian than those hollywood star. If i would have to choose hollywood star, it would be Keanu Reeves, Tom Cruise and Johnny Depp (note: those 3 guys are really hot when i was young). But Takuya and Takeshi still top of my list. I watch almost every movie or drama featuring them. And after that i will imagine i was the heroine. Hahahaha....  I enjoy Takuya style of acting espcially, so cool! Do you know after all these years and Takuya is already in his 40's now, he still got the most endorsement in Japan? Not sure about Takeshi but i think he was in lots of international ad as well and recently been paid high sums to be the face or Armani. Well, but too bad both of them are taken and not available now. Takuya already married with children while Takeshi just announced he has a Japanese girlfriend. Nevermind, they still remain my heartthrob because they are actually still HOT !

Cute & sexy

Oh Takuya! Believe or not i even ask my boyfriend (now husband) to do the same hairstyle as Takuya.  Dengan harapan akan magically transform to be as good looking as Takuya?? NOT!

Takeshi Kenneishiro. Sexayyy!!! 

His eyes..his hair..his facial structure...perfect!

Love his smile! Apa pun love lah! hahahaha ;P

Ok done...sila lap air liur masing-masing. Just to share my list of heartthrobs, so that in future when my anak cucu want to know better about me, they can just refer to my blog and think 'Oohh..boleh tahan gak taste mak/atok aku ni. Patutla muka kami ada macam Japanese sket' Hahahahaahahaa..

Fat Mama! Pt.2

As promised from this post, here come part 2 of my body weight adventure. Ceh, cakap macam ada orang kisah sangat nak baca. Well, as you've known i successfully slim down my flabby body after my first born. Remarkable achievement and i was proud of myself. But i it was temporarily as i start to eat normally (makan banyak) and also because i was pregnant again.

During second pregnancy i was back to old weight. Mana taknya makan macam hantu raya! Again, i gained about 25kgs. After delivered my daughter i stucked around 88kgs. Unlike first born, this time i only lost 3kgs right after delivery. So i left with even more weight to shed off during confinement. Susah hati betul time tu! My belly still look pregnant and i couldn't even fit into my t-shirt. During 'pantang' period i memang control makan and weighing myself everyday. The first month i lost about 7kgs and i was happy with the progress. Another 1 month to go sure can lose atleast another 5kgs. Unfortunately it won't shed anymore, i was devastated! I was enticed by the newspaper ads about Jus Mate 5. Desperate at that time, i made decision to try it and my husband sponsored me (mahal tau!) because dia pun kesian tengok wife dia susah hati..hahaha! Habis 2 kotak, 2 minggu i only managed to lose another 5kgs. So if you do the math i weigh around 75kgs after that.

Now up to date, not so much different. I am still heavy, still far away from my old-slim-self. I am now around 70kgs. My goal is 65kg (even still fat but i look better with that weight). Masih pasang angan i will lose few kgs during puasa (amiinn!). Eventhough i am about the same weight before my slim down success, i feel that i look better now. Not sure la kalau i just syok sendiri but i do feel that i look better and fit into my clothes well now, compare to after delivered my first born. Maybe because of my confidence level or maybe because i don't give a damn about my body as much. My husband told me that, if i want to get pregnant again don't waste your effort to go on diet like last time. Betul jugak kan? Well, as long i am happy, healthy and my husband loves me..why let this body weight bothers me right? I am still fabulous by the way! Hahahahaha!

Below are some of my fat picture. Enjoy!

Big, fat, ugly & proud pregnant lady!

During confinement. Raya pic with my siblings. 

Still a fat mama. I think i was around 75kgs that time.

Recent pic of me. Told you i look better and awesome now right?
Hahahaha..perasan gila!

Fat Mama! Pt.1

I read recent FB post from one of my dear friend, complaining about her weight gained after second child which is only 3 months old. Well, don't we all mommy have that sort of problem as well. I really understand her frustration because as a mother of two i been through the same ordeal as well. Sometime i wonder, i am doing something good here by getting pregnant, carrying my lil' baby inside me for 9 months but why do i get this massive weight gain and stretch mark in return? Why don't God just give me even more fabulous body & skin after giving birth as a token of appreciation? Well come to think of it, i guess if that the rewards sure berlambak pompuan berlumba-lumba nak pregnant even yang belum kawin kan?? LOL! 

Ok, the reason for my post is that i want to share my weight gain story before and after giving birth, from first to second child. I will break it into 2 parts. First part is this post, my first born experience. I gerenti ramai ibu-ibu suka this kind of post right? So if you like my post why don't you make one post about this and let me read as well..boleh?

Like i've been telling numerous time, i always been chubby and fatter than most of my friends and family. So when i was pregnant with my first child my main concern was how heavy i will be after this. Nevertheless i still eat like a monster during pregnancy. I am the kind of person whom lepas geram makan banyak-banyak time pregnant pasal alasan pregnant & eat for 2! I gained closed to 20kg and look like a 'pau'. The pic below is a proof of my food investment.

7 months pregnant. Ugly & fat kan? Look at the nose, mcm smurf! *LOL*

After safely delivered my son, Adam i instantly lost close to 10kgs! I was in shocked when i weighed in at the hospital before checking out. So still about another 10kgs to lose. At that time i was thinking, "Aah, senang je to lose during pantang coz i will be restrained to eat anything i like". Well, manatau during pantang period i was constantly hungry due to breastfeeding and i found the pantang food  delicious as well (maybe because it was cooked by my dearest mak). In the end, only shed off 5kgs and still 5kgs hanging. Pic below was how i look then:

Macam gambar 'sebelum' slimming program yg kt TV tu pulak kan? haha

Chunky arm, thunder thighs, round face! Sama bulat dgn si Adam!

The excess 5kgs still bothering me because i couldn't fit into most of my clothes especially my pants. I weighed around 70-75kgs that time! Tried dieting but hard at first because i was breastfeeding you see, selalu lapar dan kalau kurang makan kurang la susu. I carried the 5kgs till my son was about 10 months old, then i started with a strict diet of no rice & dinner after 7pm. The diet went on for almost a year. Not easy okay! I was constantly hungry and calculating my calories intake (i consume less than 1000 per day, normal person need 1500-2000). My hard work paid of as i did lose weight, lots of it and more than what i aimed.  Averagely i lost total 10kgs and i look younger ( i rasala..hehe). Lots of people around me compliment of my new body and some asking tips, i was ecstatic and enjoy everything about it! Enjoy my slim pictures below. Kali ni banyak sket gambar coz maklum la dah slim so banyak la gambar posing!

Raya pose. Been long time since i wear kebaya so had to give special pose!

See, no obvious 'love handles' or 'muffin top' that always bothering me!

This was my most skinniest. I think i weigh about 58kgs (total  lost 12kgs).
Honestly i don't like looking like this, nampak macam tak sihat je!

I even experimenting new hairstyles by cutting it short.

Haihh..looking at above pictures buat i lagi susah hati tengok badan sekarang. Bila la nak slim balik! Kenangkan seksa diet tu buat terbantut impian. Ok, to be continued on next post where i will tell you about my weight issues up to date after delivered my 2nd child.