My First 10km at KLSCM

After sooo long i abaikan this blog, here i am again for another of my running journey story. Because running is the only exciting thing happens to my life nowadays! In April, I signed up for 10km run at KLSCM (the biggest marathon event in Malaysia) and after balloting i managed to get an entry. Got overconfident and signed up for cruise run, cut off time is 90mins, means i have to run at least pace 9 to complete on time. Never ran 10km before, at that time the farthes i ran was 5km. I thought nevermind lah, the event in September, i still got about 5 months to train.

So i increase my running mileage to 6-7km. My pacing gradually decreased as i ran. Then comes fasting month. 1 month plus of not running. After raya i started running, omg my pace dah jadi above 10! Gila kann, orang muda jalan lagi laju kot! I got scared, and try to run 3 times per week with one long run of at least 90mins. In 90mins pun i boleh cover 8km je! Then how la to complete 10km under 90mins kan!

Dah nak dekat race day, haze season melanda. Lagi lah kurang berlari. That time i pikir lantak lah, lari jela mana mampu. 10% dok doa gak supaya KLSCM cancel due to haze. But haze slowly gone towards race day...it is ON guysssssss...omg nervous!

On race day, 29th September 2019. My 10km flag off is at 7am. Bangun pukul 4am, had light breakfast and by 5am husband hantar ke nearest MRT (all mrt/lrt rides to the event is complimentary). Dalam MRT tu penuh dengan peserta je, all clad in blue KLSCM tee. It was a feel good feeling bila ramai-ramai berkumpul untuk pergi tempat sama, lari sama-sama.

During flag off time, hari dah terang. It was a beautiful route along KL city. Awal-awal lari tu i realized i was running faster than usual. Managed to keep below 9 pace along the 2km. After 2km dah start letih so mula slow sikit lari. As i said, the route was nice and lots of stuff to see, so tak rasa sangat lama berlari untill we turned into Perdana Botanical Garden (i think it was last 4km). Kat sana naik bukit dia jauh la pulak..dok tunggu bila la nak turun bukit balik ni!! Most of the journey kat situ memang jalan je.

I started to speed up again when i sighted Dataran Merdeka, i think it was last 2km. I ran even faster when i saw the finish line. Pasal dah terlalu letih sangat, time 200m towards finish line tu betis dah rasa cramp and rasa nak muntah. Terpaksalah slow down lari, takut nanti malu pulak jatuh kat depan finish line tu, dah la ramai orang tengok hahahaha!

My official finish time is 1hr 34mins. It was 4mins above my 90mins target time. Thank god i still get my finisher medal! Eventhough i did not finished below 90mins, it was still a good run. I never before run at this time above 5km.

I am going to accept this as an achievement for me. Good run and great experience. I do it all alone, train alone, run also alone. That day i went back home with pride. Sore legs, exhausted, busuk masam, headache, but i was happy. I did not run for a week after that. My sore calf lasted for 3 days. And this is only 10km! My target is to enter half marathon 21km when i am 40, which is another year. Year 2021, i will run 21km! Wish me luck!

 

Running Got Into Me

Remember my last post i talked about me being high spirited about running/jogging. Well..i still am! I been constantly running 2-3 time per week and i loooovveeeee it so much! I got so much better now. From only 500m run non-stop before i collapse out of breath, to 4km run non-stop. Amazing right!! I am so proud of myself. Yes i know it is nothing for you all fit people. But me being heavy and zero exercise before this, run 4km non stop is a great achievement for me. My pace is still slow, 8-10pace/km. Which makes running 4km ended in 38-40mins. Now my goal is to improve my pace to 6-7 pace, or finishes my 5km in 40mins.

Running is easy girrlllsss! All you need are time and discipline. You can do it alone, inexpensive (only a good RM200++ running shoes) and you can set your own time and pace, no pressure whatsoever and the best thing is you become healthier!! Running is good cardio for your heart and improves your blood circulations. I run alone and it has become my personal time away from my responsibilities. With music in my ears and wind against my face, it is such a good feeling. When you have passed the semput nak mati phase, running become easier and you will definitely enjoy it. Kalau i tak jogging more than 3 days, hati dah tak keruan..i need my endorphins! Now i understands how my bapak feels when he eagerly wants to jogging tak kira tempat.

Okla...you all mesti bosan kan i dok cerita pasal jogging ni. Just to motivate you ladies to start jogging, i did lose some weight. I start losing weight when i started to control my eating as well. Because to run at faster pace, i got to be lighter. After few weeks of controlling my diet, i manage to lost 5kgs. Tak diet teruk pun. I take breakfast as usual, i take heavy lunch with lots of green and portion control on rice+lauk (green vegetable is a fat burner), make sure drinks lotssss of water and have a small dinner:  protein wraps/sandwich / nestum+kurma / makan lauk je / sayur is wajib. Like i said, nothing hardcore about my diet. Because i exercise 3 times a week to increase my metabolism, diet lightly je pun dah ok kann.At my weight, i can burn up to 300 calories when i run for 30mins. Best kannn...300 calories macam makan sepeket megi la..hahaha!

Enough running talk...but this is not the end of this topic. I might blabber about it again in next post! Maybe about my participation in marathon. My aim is to join 5km marathon by January next year. Now i really need to improve my pace first. Jom...who wants to join me run for healthier life???

To a healthier & active life

My bapak is an avid jogger and he just loves to walk. He started active jogging in his 30's and frequently joined marathon. I still remember our annual visit to Penang during Penang Bridge Marathon. Till now at 65, he still actively jogs up to 10km. Walk 3km pegi balik?? No problem for him, he enjoys it..even under the hot sun. We use to complain when he always like to park his car so far away, tak larat aih nak jalan! His children all 3 girls memang tak ikut pun perangai dia tu. Even arwah Danial (our little brother), although being active in sports, he was not a runner. 

Bapak said, the reason he took up jogging as hobby is because he wants a hobby that benefits him till old and doesn't cost money. Well..his other hobby is reading, which is also good but it does cost him money to buy books. When i heard his reasons i was quite ashamed myself. Yela..hidup dah lama still takde hobby yang boleh beneficial untuk diri sendiri sampai tua. Maybe i was too busy with kids & house chores. But i know the truth that it is just a reason not to do anything. Even nowadays i hardly reads. Beli je buku banyak-banyak (i can't resist a good book), baca nye tak.

I memang kagum dengan determinations of people who active in sports. Since i am not good in any sports, i can't take any as hobby. So i secretly wish i can jogs like my bapak. To have not be out of breath so fast when i run. Nak, teringin, memang senang kan...nak mula dan buatnya masyaAllah susah betul. Banyak alasan. Alasan pertama, when i was younger i malu lari in public pasal dok rasa orang gemok berlari adalah kelakar (betul tak?). Now dah tua sikit i can't be bother of what people thinks as long tak kacau orang and i wear appropriately. Alasan kedua, takde geng dan support from anybody to pursue  it. Ala..ngade kan, nak buat benda elok nak support pulak, which is now i think is ridiculous. Alasan ketiga, which is still my strong alasan till now is other's perceptions. I kan gemok, being overweight all my life. Jadi bila if people know i started to jog and still badan macam tu gak i find it annoying that people will membawang and perlekehkan my effort when i actually i start jogging to be healthy, active and built up my stamina. Kurus tu bonus la kan, pasal makan kalau tak kurang susah la nak impi badan idaman. For the longest time i already accept my body as it is and be positive about it...takde dah nak berangan kurus. I accept it as long i am healthy. But others relentlessly remind me about it macam sakit sangat mata tengok i gemok kan. Hahahaha, but tak semua la, no hard feeling dah, like i said, i am body positive regardless what i weigh.

Ok panjang pulak bercerita. The reason for this post is that i decided to be active. Since i started my weekly zumba/aerobic lesson, my stamina becomes better. So i try to jog at nearby park. Suprisingly i can run 3 rounds, usually 1 round dah tercungap mintak nyawa. That makes me feels better. I enjoy it. Not sure whether it is the endorphins released during exercise, but i am happy everytime i finished my aerobic or run. I pray that this is not hangat-hangat taik ayam. I really need this in my life. Like my bapak said, must have a good hobby that benefited us sampai tua. Semoga semangat ku tidakla setengah jalan sahaja. At least sampai cukup stamina nak join half marathon. To a healthier and active life!! Doakan ye...amiiinnnn.

Just An Update

Fuyoo..lama tinggal blog ni. Does blog post relevant nowadays?? I rasa macam blogpost ni more to syok sendiri je kan?? More to update for self reading & record. Trend baca blog dah makin pupus rasnaya. Like myself, i dah tak kuasa dah nak baca blog..apatah lagi nak update blog sendiri. But still, pabila teringat, jadi teringin plak nak update harini. Just a short updates. Will do it in points:

• My Aidan dah exceeded 1 year milestone. Dah boleh jalan terkedek2 dan lari juga terkedek2. Makin clingy and kepo and curious. Masih suka layan katun especially nursery rhymes songs. I love baby at this age, so montok, so squishy and they are responsive now. 

• Bulan puasa ni makanan makin mahal kannn? Haritu gi beli makanan bebuka (pasal tak masak), habis RM50 plus jugak la untuk whole family makan. Aishh...makan kat restoran tomyam lagi murah kottt. Kuih pun kecik-kecik, jual 3 for RM2. Takleh la selalu melayan beli kat bazar ramadhan. Dah jadi surirumah ni kena rajin2 la masak yeee. Kadang tu bosan gak taktau masak apa, teringin makan nasi kerabu la..nasi beriyani la...nasi arab la..so kena la beli kan, i taktau masak semua tuuu.  

• So far my 7 y.o daughter dapat puasa penuh tanpa drama. Last year macam2 drama kena layan, but hanya ponteng few days. Hopefully she can finish her 30 days fasts this year.  

• Why there are sooo many raya sales niii. Online shopping ni memang dangerous betul. Luckily i ni size besar, so banyak baju takde size. Jadi kalau cantik pun mampu tengok je. Rahmat jugak kan plus size ni. Hahahaha. But habis jugak duit tuuu gi beli tudung, telekung, kids clothes (H&M had a massive online sales, 1 baju RM16 je!!) and cosmetics. 

• This year raya kat Sarawak. Means boleh melantak kek sarawak!! Tomorrow balik Aor Star, kalau raya kat Sarawak, we will sure balik berpuasa kat Alor Star because best puasa kat sana. Banyak makanan sedap and the bazar ramadhan is the best..macam2 ada, sedap, accessible and cheaper. Cakap banyak tak guna, orang Kedah tau la noh!

• Recently we celebrated our 11th year wedding anniversary. Dah 11 tahun menempuh alam perkahwinan, naik turun dari segi ekonomi, from apartment to landed house, from kelisa to alza mpv, from me working to me being work from home mom and now 3 healthy kids. Alhamdulillah for all the experience & gifts. Nak cerita bab perkahwinan ni, takde siapa ada experience yang sama, betul tak? Kalau nak cerita kat orang pasal marriage kita memang takkan yang faham totally because it is emotionally exclusive between you and your husband. People can relate but not one can say yes i have the same marriage as yours. No, it is impossible. My point is, your marriage is what you build & evolve with your love ones, so jangan la compare dengan marriage orang yang you nampak kat social media or dari ceritanya. Believe me, there are backstories that every marriage has to endure to be great. For me, Alhamdulillah..so far takde ujian yang belum mampu handle.

Ok that's all lah. Kalau rajin, lepas raya la update ye..with pictures. Selamat berpuasa semua! 

2017 & My 2 Schooling Kids

Happy New Year everyone. Whatever your hopes & dreams for 2017, i hope the year serves you well. My 2016 was ok. No drama, just me being work from home mom a.k.a slaves to my kids. It is a tiring  & undervalued job but i do enjoy taking care of my kids full time. Memang la letih dan hidup kelam kelibut ikut kerenah anak, but at least i have more time for my kids untuk masak dan personally monitor their studies. Kalau melawak kata i nak kerja balik, menjerit2 diorang macam suruh terjun lombong. Hahahahaha.....

To get organize ofcourse la one has to own a planner kann.

For 2017 i want to be organize. You know la, stay at home with a baby i can't really track time, kejap je masa dah berlalu. So this year i want to be more organize. I want to slip some time for exercise (dekat rumah je) & reading. I also want to keep track of my expenses. Selalu sangat draw duit, sometime tak tahu mana peginya duit tu, padahal duduk rumah je. And finally i want to be a better muslim. Sejak ada baby i hardly had time to recites Quran, kekadang rasa bersalah sangat. Dulu almost every night akan baca. Bila ada baby selalau baca sekerat dah dengar Aidan nangis kena la stop, pastu tutup simpan terus. Kena gak curi time, dapat baca 2 pages pun jadila kan.

This year my 2 kids dah sekolah. Dania standard 1 and Adam standard 4. Sorang sekolah pagi, sorang petang. So my jadual starts early this year. No more bangun lewat (FYI, i am not a morning person). Ada orang suka time anak ke sekolah, ada orang suka time musim anak cuti skolah. For me, i prefer anak cuti sekolah pasal tak kalut sangat nak masak & siap kan diorang ke sekolah. Every house chores has to revolves around their schooling time. Sometime nak gi office pun kena tunggu anak balik sekolah or gi skolah dulu. So i prefer cuti sekolah.

Dania's first day schooling was okay. No tears, in fact she was excited. Already made some friends. I hope she likes school. Kita tengok pulak anak perempuan ni study lagu mana pulak. Anak laki tau dah, keja nak main je..relax & cool. Kalau bab study kena push macam kita yang nak exam.

Oh and i also want to update my blog more. Eh macam banyak je nak buat kan. Eksyen je lebey, in the end, apa pun tak settle. Hahahaha...

Miscarriage Experience

Sebelum ni i pernah janji nak cerita pasal my miscarriage kan? It was one memorable experience for me. I was actually kind of traumatized by it. It was nothing like what i expected i would feel, physically or emotionally. That is why i want to make a post in my blog, untuk kenangan and sharing. Expect this post to be a really looooong one. Kalau rajin baca la ye.

Me and husband been trying for baby no.3 for more than a year, since my second daughter was 4 years old. My last effort was the ovulation test. With this ovulation detector at least we know when is the right time to consumate. Nak jadikan cerita i finally got pregnant. My period was late, and i was in process of moving house. I was ecstatic when i found out i was pregnant, i think dah dekat 2 bulan time tu. Since we were busy nak pindah rumah, i delayed appointment with doctor. Lagipun fikir awal lagikan, bukan nampak apa pun, i was fine on my last 2 pregnancy so i was confident with the 3rd one.

Bezanya pregnancy ni is the nausea. Mual, muntah and tak lalu makan. And i lost weight. Mungkin jugak sebab stress pindah rumah. I was thinking that time, nausea is a good sign. Means the baby is ok. How wrong i was kannn??

Now come my first pregnancy check ups. I was 3 months plus that time. But the scan showed i was only at 6 weeks. And no heartbeat or movement. Just a sight of the sac. Being positive, doctor said maybe it was too early. Next appointment is another 2 weeks, to see whether there is any development. He didn't mention about the baby not being there, thus both of us never thought it would happen. We still think i was pregnant, only miscalculated the period and it was too early.

Ni contoh empty sac yang nampak time scan.

Then came the bleeding. I was at work, in a toilet lepas basuh i wipe with tissue and i saw some stains on it. It was light colored blood. Macam lendir pun ada. I was panicked. What can it beeee???? Haritu rasanya dekat 10x masuk toilet kot nak check. Everytime i wipe there is blood, tapi takdela banyak macam darah menstrual tu. Told my husband, dia cakap mungkin temporary je kot. Yes sometime it happens during early pregnancy, i googled it. Tapi hati mana tak risau kan. Gundah gulana je rasa, semua kawan yang pernah go through miscarriage i tanya. The worries got really tense after few days when lagi banyak darah keluar. Tapi punyala degil tak pegi jugak jumpa doc. Entahla mungkin i was afraid if my biggest fear is true.

The truth finally known bila visit my doc on next appointment. The scan showed no progess. Only empty sac. No baby inside. Doc cakap 'rumah dah siap tapi baby tak jadi'. Sedihnya time tu. My husband lagila mood berubah because he didn't expect it.  He did not talk much on our way back home. Kenala terima takdir kan. Takde rezeki lagi. Time tu dok fikir aku ni dah ada 2 anak pun feel distraught, how la couple yang belum ada anak rasa kalau miscarriage kan.

Doc bagi options, buat d&c (cuci rahim), tunggu je benda tu turun keluar sendiri or makan pil paksa keluar. Time tu masih lagi terkejut dan blur, i cakap je nak tunggu. So doc suruh wait for 2 weeks. I read that if your body is healthy benda tu akan turun sendiri, its like your body will automatically get rids if the unwanted stuff in your body.

Dalam seminggu tu dah turun darah macam period. One day tu banyak sangat flow dia. I was at work that time. Rasa heavy flow je time tu, terus lari gi toilet nak check. Tengah panjat tangga tu rasa macam meleleh kat kaki. Masuk dalam toilet masyaAllah dah horror keadaan time tu. The blood was soooo many, my pants was drenched with blood. Ada jugak ketulan macam hati ayam berterabur kat lantai toilet. Wahhh....seramnya time tu. Terus minta kat boss nak balik rumah.

Got medical leave for 2 weeks. Alhamdulillah benda tu turun keluar semuanya tanpa perlu go through d&c. Proses keluar tu took about 1 week, ada hari sakit macam you are having massive period cramp. Tapi sakit lagi contraction nak beranak. So sakit ni takde apa sangat la banding sakit setengah mati nak beranak tu. Hahahaha.

Emotionally i was traumatized and blaming myself. Yela time tu letih pindah rumah, angkat barang and cuci rumah semua. Doc said it wasn't because of that. Tapi tetap rasa bersalah. The experience memang takleh lupa. But takdela trauma sampai taknak buat anak dah.

Nak jadi cerita, lepas 1st period after miscarriage tu i got pregnant again. Means 2 months after my miscarriage. This time memang hati-hati la. Awal2 lagi dah gi jumpa doc. And now i am 32weeks pregnant and my edd is on 17th May. I am expecting another boy. Please pray for us ya.

Tak sabar nak tunggu new baby. This is his blanket that i knit myself.

Younger look??

This blog has become irrelevant right?

I seldom updates, and ofcourse no one will come and read it as well. 

Malas la nak update, eventhough lots of thing i want to share.

But i also do not want this blog to be dead.

So with perasaan terpaksa & malas, i update one sharing.

Been contemplating to share this for sooo long but as usual, laziness wins! 

I am in my early 30s, a mother with 2 rascals to raise. 

You know mothers, multitasking is our super power right?

 Everything kita kena fikir, everything kita kena buat & settle.

Sometime when i had enough i wish i can swwoosshh, fly to the sky away from all and rest on the fluffy clouds (like cartoon always does). 

That is the multitasking part.

Now how about the the self maintenance part?

With this Rozita Che Wan being hot at 40s, Korean star being so flawless prancing on TV and here there advertisement about how slim, fair and perfect your body and face can be improved.

Letih kan? For women to have such pressure and expectation to meet.

Even worse, the society that demands for it. 

No wonder plastic surgery become so norm these days.

So what normal women like me gotta do?

Sure la stress jugak kekadang babe!

Belek muka, awatla makin kertu ni, what Rozita Che Wan does that i don't?

Maybe i gemok la kan...but i am talking about my face.

Back in my 20s tak pakai bedak ikat tocang satu pun nampak cute.

Now make up pun nampak hmmmmpphh...

I am like..if i can't slim down my body i can atleast take better care of my skin.

With that determination i spend some money on good skin care products.

Apart of usual skin regimes, i started to slab night cream and eye cream religiously.

Exfoliates and put on mask twice a week.

The products i use are mix of some brands like Safi, Body Shop, Antipodes and some korean brand.

Still kedekut to spend on high-end brand like SKII.

My skin show some improvements, but takdela significant macam iklan tu kann.

Among all the product i use, the one that show the best result and i really would like to recommends is e'Pure Membranous Jelly Masque.

I bought it online through Hi-Shop . Priced at RM89.90

Mahal la bagi bajet i, tapi pasal nak cantik macam kpop artist kannn..beli la gak.

I am on my second box now but both time bought during sales, which i paid only RM50++

Translucent & thick jelly gel that you slab on you face for 30-45mins.

The effect on my skin memang bagus.

Instantly after application your skin will become fairer.

After several applications, your acne scars become lighter.

Best of all, my pores become smaller.

All these resulted to younger looking skin la kann. Ke i yang perasan sorang2? LOL

Kalau rasa nak tumbuh jerawat tu cepat2 tempek mask ni, confirm tak jadi naik. Kalau timbul gak pun kecik je.

All these time, no matter how convincing the product reviews are, i never had any significant impact on my skin. So this is the first time i get such impact.

I love the result the mask has given me.

My husband pun sedar. Tapi takdela dialog geli-geli macam iklan ye.

Okla tu kann...husband sedar. Walaupun takde lagila kawan2 or sedara mara cakap pape.

I guess takdela ketara sampai orang tanya kan, cukupla sendiri rasa berbaloi.

Unfortunately i don't have the before & after picture of me.

I malu la nak amik bare face selfie close up. LOL.

I only have the pic below, of my no-make up face.

But you can just google it and read all the good reviews.

No, i don't get paid to promote this..siapa bodo nak bayar i ni pun.

Just nak share, kot-kot siapa2 nak try tapi tak cukup duit tabung nak beli SKII.

Kalau siapa dah try to, please share your opinion with me. 

Have A Merry 2013!

2013 has come!
I hope 2012 was kind & store lots of memories for you.

My 2012 was fine. 

Nothing major but nothing bad happens.
Alhamdulillah for all that have been and may not have.

I wish for a better 2013.
I hope to be a better servant (to Allah), mother, wife and daughter.
 May Allah help & bless me!

Here are some thoughts in store for 2013:

• I want to take better care of my face. I'm in my 30's now, skin not that great and supple. Especially on my eye area. Dahla memang 'panda bear', tambah pulak wrinkles..issy!! My eyes really add to my age. Also buy lots of mask and wear them as frequent as i can. Takleh nak kedekut dah dengan beauty product!

•  Be a better muslim. Jaga solat & elakkan tangguh waktu solat. Beli tudung or scarf yang labuh sket, so that it covers my chest. Avoid wearing fitting clothes and try to wear more 'good muslimah ' clothes. Will also recites Qur'an more often, including the meaning for better understanding.

• Read more! I looovee to read. I wish i have more time to read. With work, kids & house chores it's really hard to find decent time to read. 1 book took me almost a month to finish. Recently i went to the 'Big Bad Wolf' book sale and bought lots of book. Can't wait to read each of them. Baru habis satu buku, ada 6 buku lagi! And i already have several books on my list to buy & read!

• To be a morning person. Honestly, i am not an early riser. Been like this since teenager. The earliest i wake up (on weekend) is 9am, and it is hardly. Usual wake up time is around 10am. And my kids are late riser as well. Bayangkan pukul 10-11am baru nak breakfast. I want to be a morning person so that i can go down to have alone time eating breakfast with coffee & read newspaper..alone from the noisy kids and demanding husband before they wake up and life goes on as usual. First, gotta sleeps earlier, not at 2 to 3a.m! 

• Have a better money management. Gonna start saving seriously. Gonna control my spending. I am glad that i wasn't such shopaholic in 2012. Better la, kurang bershopping macam tahun-tahun sebelum ni. But 2013 i got a shopping trip to Bandung..and probably to Bangkok as well..macam mana ni? Nevermind, i will find a way to make more money.

• Last but the hardest thing to avoid. Cakap kosong & bergossip! Haih, most ladies are guilty of this. I don't like myself when i gossips. Lepas dah habis bercakap mesti terpikir balik, berdosanya aku! Hard to avoid but i must try harder to stop talking about stuff that doesn't matters to me. Dosa dapat, and end up feel like a bitch! Ya Allah please help me!

Haaa...lots of bad habit to break. Boleh ka nak ubah semua tu? Kena determine la kan. All these are not only for 2013. It's a continuous process to improve myself. I really hope by each year pass, kalau umur panjang InsyaAllah i will be a better human. :)

Happy New Year!
Semoga 2013 member manfaat untuk anda semua!

Ramadhan coming!!

Puasa officially starts tomorrow...yayy! So excited because tonight i will be going to terawih prayers! After sooo long tak pegi (sejak kahwin y'know, and i been married for 6 yrs!) I forgot how to recite niat solat terawih and solat witir. Just googled it, nasib ringkas je niat die. Nasib berjemaah, so takdela rasa bodoh sangat. My husband jaga my kids, since dia malas nak pegi terawih. Waa..excited nya! The only regret is that i did not buy new telekung. Yang ada sekarang agak kusam. Takpe, will buy them soon. Eh do you know that terawih prayer actually good for your health as well? Yela..lepas you melantak dan minum air bergelen, performing terawih actually helps your body to digest them. I memang berjaya turun berat badan dengan jayanya dan perut takdela macam nak pecah sepanjang malam. Yes, i memang buruk lantak di kala bulan puasa! Or mungkin pasal surau kat rumah i dulu takde aircond so berpeluh basah satu baju bila solat..hehehe. But now they already installed air-cond..Alhamdulillah!

Most mak-mak dah plan dah kepala otak nak hidang ape untuk sahur esok. Me? No plan, tak dak idea pun nak masak apa. Fridge pun belum stock up barang nak masak. During fasting month memang nak beli sikit-sikit je kat bazaar and occasionally will cook, especially during weekend. Malas nak kalut-kalut balik keja masak semua and paling malas of all is to clean up after that which will include scrubbing the kuali, wipe the stove & cabinets, wash the dishes and probably mop the floor as well. Story about chores ni pun i dah rasa letih. Leceh la, then have to kalut solat maghrib and rush to surau for terawih. Not including in between anak kacau mintak itu ini..haissyy..letih la you olls!

Adam will also puasa. He been asking frequently when he can start puasa. Nape entah excited sangat. Won't force him to. If he is willing i'll just let him puasa, if not i also won't be mad. He actually started puasa last year. Proud of him. The only problem is how it is to wake him up for sahur..liat bangun for sure! And lagi haru kalau lepas sahur tu he don't wanna sleep, means he sure will be tired to school. Lagi la letih kalau tak cukup tido while fasting kan? Hmm...we'll see how it goes.

Another plan of mine is to recite Al-Quran after sahur while waiting for subuh prayers. Selalunya tengok tv je in between time tu. On normal days i recite Quran after isya' prayer, so since nak gi terawih mesti dah tak baca. I really..really hope i can do whatever i planned. To gain more pahala during this holy months!

So what is your plan? Apart from what to eat for iftar? Or what to wear for raya? Or what kuih raya to make/order? It is all about good deeds my darling, for a moment, take this 30 days chance to devote yourself on spiritual aspects and be a better muslim/muslimah. Together we make the most of our Ramadhan! InsyaAllah.

'Jimat'

Hi..how's your Ramadan so far? Mine was fine. The only set back is that i am in that 'time' of the month where i am excused from fasting. Tak syok la kan..orang semangat nak puasa tapi on first day itself dah tak dapat! Haisy..what to do..it's out of my control.

Yesterday was the first day of fasting, i was at home with my kids. Off from work because their nanny went to Sarawak. Since i am not fasting, syok la dok rumah makan dengan anak-anak. I did not feel like the fasting month already started..teruk sungguh kan? Came noon, i went to nearby Pasar Ramadan. When i was there i keep reminding myself  "Bulan puasa jangan makan..bulan puasa tak boleh makan", because usually whenever i go to Pasar Malam i will buy some kuih (keropok lekor/karipap/cucur) and munch on the spot, i know buruk prangai kan..hehehehe. I almost drink Adam's milo ais that he asked me to hold. Haih..nassiiiibbbb! Aftter 2 rounds, i bought kebab kambing for me & my sis, nasi beriani and kuih buah melaka for my husband, char koay for Adam, rojak for all. My total money spent was RM20++. I think it was quite jimat, i hope everyday also can jimat like this.

Remember my last post about Raya shopping? Well, i have some confession to make. After determined not to shop any raya clothes for me, i failed! I just bought a bag & a jubah for myself! Benci! Suka tapi benci pasal habis duit!

I was contemplating to buy this bag for quite sometime. Since now the foreign currency got cheap due U.S financial crisis, so i thought now is the right time to buy them. And another reason (every purchased goods sure got some reasons attached right??) is....polka dot prints! My baju kurung fabric for this year is black & white polka dots, so you gotta get a matching bag right..right? But i still won't call it as 'Raya Bag' because i still would buy it if not because of the upcoming raya. Good thing was that ASOS (world famous online shopping hub) give worldwide FREE shipping..imagine buying as many as you want from oversea and no postage charges!

Spot print bowling bag from ASOS

This is the print of my baju kurung fabric

This is the print of Dania's baju kurung fabric

I also just purchased a denim jubah from Little Ilsya, an online boutique for muslimah. Since i worn hijab, been looking everywhere for the right jubah. Some looking too 'ustazah' others either too glamorous or so simple it looks like 'baju tidur'. The caftan ones make me look even rounder and pregnant. So finally i chose this denim jubah and it is on sale as well. I think it was a good buy.

A simple denim jubah. Wish i look this poised when i wear mine! Hahaha!

Talking about jimat..jimat la sangat kannnn? Hahahaha...Ok my shopping for this month stops here..hopefully! Actually i still wanna buy Schanaz  satin scarf in black and also a pair of jeans (the jeans i have now is either skinnies or too baggy due to one size bigger). We'll see how..if i have more money i will proceed with the jeans. If not,  lain kali jela yeee..

Ramadan & Syawal

Since Ramadan, the holy month for us Muslims to fast is coming soon, it is appropriate for me to blog a lil bit about it. I've been thinking lately, what are my preparations for the upcoming Ramadan, instead of Syawal.

People always get so caught up on the Raya not the fasting month. What color theme for this year? Where to shop for baju raya? What color of my curtains this year? When to shop new set of clothes for kids?etc. I am lil bit guilty of that as well. I am not those kind that get really excited to change everything new for raya, ordered various kind of biscuuits & cakes or buy lots of baju raya for me & kids. I am just not that enthusiastic or 'semangat' like that..like most makcik-makcik or mak-mak feeling. Whatever need to change i change..think rationally not emotionally.

Like this year, i decide to do only 1 set of baju kurung (already done) for me & daughter and my husband will buy 1 set of baju melayu for him & son as well. The theme is black. For other more casual baju raya, since i always buy clothes so i don't bother to buy anymore for me. As for my daughter, walaupun terliur tengok banyak sangat dress cute for babies, i restrain myself to buy it just because first, Dania is growing up so no point buying lots of dress that she will outgrown it in few months and also because she already have lots of unworn dresses given by relatives & friends. Since Dania already walking (at 9 months), I only need to buy her a new pair of shoes simply because she only has a pair, and that one dah kotor dan buruk. My husband every year pun tak beli any baju raya apart from the compulsory baju melayu. My son Adam, tak payah juga kot because boy bukan ada choice sangat pun..baju lama pun elok lagi. As for biscuits, as usual i only ordered those that i like and only for me & family to eat and usually habis before raya. For raya incase ada orang datang, my mak always bagi biskut yang dia selalunya over-ordered. So buat apa nak bazir kan, amik jela biskut tu..sedap pulak tu! My house don't need any necessary grooming or enhancement, only need to be clean or re-arranging some stuff. So overall i don't need any extra stress or burden for upcoming Raya just some extra money to bring back to kampung.

Back to my earlier question, what are my prepation for Ramadan? I try to be more of Ramadan instead of Syawal this year. Rasa bersalah bila terbaca artikel pasal topik ni. As i just discussed with my office mate during lunch just now, reality is i always not that excited about fasting month. Just as my raya preparations, my Ramadhan preparations are somewhat uninteresting as well. But, this year i want to change it..hopefully. Not preparation in what or where to eat for berbuka and sahur. Instead i try to do more amal ibadat than every other months. Before this, i did not manage to finish recite the whole Quran (selalu stop half way). Also since married i dah tak pegi terawikh dengan alasan pregnant atau jaga anak. I am also not the kind who wajib sahur, kalau boleh memang taknak sahur dan tidak akan lapar pun kalau tak sahur. But this year i will sahur everyday insyaAllah, kesian husband sahur sorang-sorang sebelum ni. This year i try to change all that to become a better Muslim especially on this holy month. So having said it all i really..really..wish i can gain more pahala on this Ramadan.

Selamat menyambut bulan Ramadan pada semua. Diharap bulan yang mulia ini, dijadikan bulan yang penuh dengan amal ibadat dan cahaya keimanan di jiwa masing-masing. Happy puasa!

P.S: I am proud of myself because i manage to complete my 30days of 'ganti puasa' because i could not fast the whole Ramadan month last year due to confinement (after deliver my Dania).

Fat Mama! Pt.2

As promised from this post, here come part 2 of my body weight adventure. Ceh, cakap macam ada orang kisah sangat nak baca. Well, as you've known i successfully slim down my flabby body after my first born. Remarkable achievement and i was proud of myself. But i it was temporarily as i start to eat normally (makan banyak) and also because i was pregnant again.

During second pregnancy i was back to old weight. Mana taknya makan macam hantu raya! Again, i gained about 25kgs. After delivered my daughter i stucked around 88kgs. Unlike first born, this time i only lost 3kgs right after delivery. So i left with even more weight to shed off during confinement. Susah hati betul time tu! My belly still look pregnant and i couldn't even fit into my t-shirt. During 'pantang' period i memang control makan and weighing myself everyday. The first month i lost about 7kgs and i was happy with the progress. Another 1 month to go sure can lose atleast another 5kgs. Unfortunately it won't shed anymore, i was devastated! I was enticed by the newspaper ads about Jus Mate 5. Desperate at that time, i made decision to try it and my husband sponsored me (mahal tau!) because dia pun kesian tengok wife dia susah hati..hahaha! Habis 2 kotak, 2 minggu i only managed to lose another 5kgs. So if you do the math i weigh around 75kgs after that.

Now up to date, not so much different. I am still heavy, still far away from my old-slim-self. I am now around 70kgs. My goal is 65kg (even still fat but i look better with that weight). Masih pasang angan i will lose few kgs during puasa (amiinn!). Eventhough i am about the same weight before my slim down success, i feel that i look better now. Not sure la kalau i just syok sendiri but i do feel that i look better and fit into my clothes well now, compare to after delivered my first born. Maybe because of my confidence level or maybe because i don't give a damn about my body as much. My husband told me that, if i want to get pregnant again don't waste your effort to go on diet like last time. Betul jugak kan? Well, as long i am happy, healthy and my husband loves me..why let this body weight bothers me right? I am still fabulous by the way! Hahahahaha!

Below are some of my fat picture. Enjoy!

Big, fat, ugly & proud pregnant lady!

During confinement. Raya pic with my siblings. 

Still a fat mama. I think i was around 75kgs that time.

Recent pic of me. Told you i look better and awesome now right?
Hahahaha..perasan gila!

Fat Mama! Pt.1

I read recent FB post from one of my dear friend, complaining about her weight gained after second child which is only 3 months old. Well, don't we all mommy have that sort of problem as well. I really understand her frustration because as a mother of two i been through the same ordeal as well. Sometime i wonder, i am doing something good here by getting pregnant, carrying my lil' baby inside me for 9 months but why do i get this massive weight gain and stretch mark in return? Why don't God just give me even more fabulous body & skin after giving birth as a token of appreciation? Well come to think of it, i guess if that the rewards sure berlambak pompuan berlumba-lumba nak pregnant even yang belum kawin kan?? LOL! 

Ok, the reason for my post is that i want to share my weight gain story before and after giving birth, from first to second child. I will break it into 2 parts. First part is this post, my first born experience. I gerenti ramai ibu-ibu suka this kind of post right? So if you like my post why don't you make one post about this and let me read as well..boleh?

Like i've been telling numerous time, i always been chubby and fatter than most of my friends and family. So when i was pregnant with my first child my main concern was how heavy i will be after this. Nevertheless i still eat like a monster during pregnancy. I am the kind of person whom lepas geram makan banyak-banyak time pregnant pasal alasan pregnant & eat for 2! I gained closed to 20kg and look like a 'pau'. The pic below is a proof of my food investment.

7 months pregnant. Ugly & fat kan? Look at the nose, mcm smurf! *LOL*

After safely delivered my son, Adam i instantly lost close to 10kgs! I was in shocked when i weighed in at the hospital before checking out. So still about another 10kgs to lose. At that time i was thinking, "Aah, senang je to lose during pantang coz i will be restrained to eat anything i like". Well, manatau during pantang period i was constantly hungry due to breastfeeding and i found the pantang food  delicious as well (maybe because it was cooked by my dearest mak). In the end, only shed off 5kgs and still 5kgs hanging. Pic below was how i look then:

Macam gambar 'sebelum' slimming program yg kt TV tu pulak kan? haha

Chunky arm, thunder thighs, round face! Sama bulat dgn si Adam!

The excess 5kgs still bothering me because i couldn't fit into most of my clothes especially my pants. I weighed around 70-75kgs that time! Tried dieting but hard at first because i was breastfeeding you see, selalu lapar dan kalau kurang makan kurang la susu. I carried the 5kgs till my son was about 10 months old, then i started with a strict diet of no rice & dinner after 7pm. The diet went on for almost a year. Not easy okay! I was constantly hungry and calculating my calories intake (i consume less than 1000 per day, normal person need 1500-2000). My hard work paid of as i did lose weight, lots of it and more than what i aimed.  Averagely i lost total 10kgs and i look younger ( i rasala..hehe). Lots of people around me compliment of my new body and some asking tips, i was ecstatic and enjoy everything about it! Enjoy my slim pictures below. Kali ni banyak sket gambar coz maklum la dah slim so banyak la gambar posing!

Raya pose. Been long time since i wear kebaya so had to give special pose!

See, no obvious 'love handles' or 'muffin top' that always bothering me!

This was my most skinniest. I think i weigh about 58kgs (total  lost 12kgs).
Honestly i don't like looking like this, nampak macam tak sihat je!

I even experimenting new hairstyles by cutting it short.

Haihh..looking at above pictures buat i lagi susah hati tengok badan sekarang. Bila la nak slim balik! Kenangkan seksa diet tu buat terbantut impian. Ok, to be continued on next post where i will tell you about my weight issues up to date after delivered my 2nd child.