Me and husband been trying for baby no.3 for more than a year, since my second daughter was 4 years old. My last effort was the ovulation test. With this ovulation detector at least we know when is the right time to consumate. Nak jadikan cerita i finally got pregnant. My period was late, and i was in process of moving house. I was ecstatic when i found out i was pregnant, i think dah dekat 2 bulan time tu. Since we were busy nak pindah rumah, i delayed appointment with doctor. Lagipun fikir awal lagikan, bukan nampak apa pun, i was fine on my last 2 pregnancy so i was confident with the 3rd one.
Bezanya pregnancy ni is the nausea. Mual, muntah and tak lalu makan. And i lost weight. Mungkin jugak sebab stress pindah rumah. I was thinking that time, nausea is a good sign. Means the baby is ok. How wrong i was kannn??
Now come my first pregnancy check ups. I was 3 months plus that time. But the scan showed i was only at 6 weeks. And no heartbeat or movement. Just a sight of the sac. Being positive, doctor said maybe it was too early. Next appointment is another 2 weeks, to see whether there is any development. He didn't mention about the baby not being there, thus both of us never thought it would happen. We still think i was pregnant, only miscalculated the period and it was too early.
 |
| Ni contoh empty sac yang nampak time scan. |
Then came the bleeding. I was at work, in a toilet lepas basuh i wipe with tissue and i saw some stains on it. It was light colored blood. Macam lendir pun ada. I was panicked. What can it beeee???? Haritu rasanya dekat 10x masuk toilet kot nak check. Everytime i wipe there is blood, tapi takdela banyak macam darah menstrual tu. Told my husband, dia cakap mungkin temporary je kot. Yes sometime it happens during early pregnancy, i googled it. Tapi hati mana tak risau kan. Gundah gulana je rasa, semua kawan yang pernah go through miscarriage i tanya. The worries got really tense after few days when lagi banyak darah keluar. Tapi punyala degil tak pegi jugak jumpa doc. Entahla mungkin i was afraid if my biggest fear is true.
The truth finally known bila visit my doc on next appointment. The scan showed no progess. Only empty sac. No baby inside. Doc cakap 'rumah dah siap tapi baby tak jadi'. Sedihnya time tu. My husband lagila mood berubah because he didn't expect it. He did not talk much on our way back home. Kenala terima takdir kan. Takde rezeki lagi. Time tu dok fikir aku ni dah ada 2 anak pun feel distraught, how la couple yang belum ada anak rasa kalau miscarriage kan.
Doc bagi options, buat d&c (cuci rahim), tunggu je benda tu turun keluar sendiri or makan pil paksa keluar. Time tu masih lagi terkejut dan blur, i cakap je nak tunggu. So doc suruh wait for 2 weeks. I read that if your body is healthy benda tu akan turun sendiri, its like your body will automatically get rids if the unwanted stuff in your body.
Dalam seminggu tu dah turun darah macam period. One day tu banyak sangat flow dia. I was at work that time. Rasa heavy flow je time tu, terus lari gi toilet nak check. Tengah panjat tangga tu rasa macam meleleh kat kaki. Masuk dalam toilet masyaAllah dah horror keadaan time tu. The blood was soooo many, my pants was drenched with blood. Ada jugak ketulan macam hati ayam berterabur kat lantai toilet. Wahhh....seramnya time tu. Terus minta kat boss nak balik rumah.
Got medical leave for 2 weeks. Alhamdulillah benda tu turun keluar semuanya tanpa perlu go through d&c. Proses keluar tu took about 1 week, ada hari sakit macam you are having massive period cramp. Tapi sakit lagi contraction nak beranak. So sakit ni takde apa sangat la banding sakit setengah mati nak beranak tu. Hahahaha.
Emotionally i was traumatized and blaming myself. Yela time tu letih pindah rumah, angkat barang and cuci rumah semua. Doc said it wasn't because of that. Tapi tetap rasa bersalah. The experience memang takleh lupa. But takdela trauma sampai taknak buat anak dah.
Nak jadi cerita, lepas 1st period after miscarriage tu i got pregnant again. Means 2 months after my miscarriage. This time memang hati-hati la. Awal2 lagi dah gi jumpa doc. And now i am 32weeks pregnant and my edd is on 17th May. I am expecting another boy. Please pray for us ya.
 |
| Tak sabar nak tunggu new baby. This is his blanket that i knit myself. |
.jpg)
