Thursday, October 11, 2012

Note to husband

Women who are married with kid(s) is a tough job. Tambahan pulak kalau bekerja. Having a supporting husband who are always willing & understand really helps alot! I got this from The Pink Stilettos blog. I agreed with all the 5 points women want to hear from their husband:

  • “You don’t need to cook tonight. I’ll make us dinner and do the dishes”.
  • “Here’s RM1,000. Go buy that Zara tops and shoes that you have been eyeing on”.
  • “Let me look after the kids. You go have some rest”.
  • “I love your ____ (insert whatever things you love about her. Eg: smile, hair, eyes, laugh, etc)“.
  • “You’re the best wife a man could ever have”.
It is true right? Lagi best if our husband do this without us demanding it. my case, my husband taklah loving sangat utters those words to me. Die pun ignorant gak macam (most) laki  lain. But can still tolerate lah on some issues. Let me evaluate him based on the 5 points:

  • He is not a cooker. Paling terer masak burger, so memang tak expect la dia offer to cook. And he usually tak demand i cook for him if i don't have the mood to. Kalau cook pun just a simple dish. Some points on that. But i really wish he would offer to clean the plates when i do the cooking :)
  • Unless there are special occasions (ie;birthday, anniversary, bonus), he won't offer me money to shop. Especially to shop at expensive shop like Zara and buy stuff i don't need but want. Memang kalau teringin beli apa, even baju raya sekali pun i guna duit sendiri je. But nama pun 'words we want to hear from husband' kan, so kalau sekali sekala husband cakap nak sponsor, Alhamdulillah kecik tapak tangan satu trolley saya tadahkan. Hahahaha!
  • Yang ni selalu my husband buat if i kena gi office kerja or i got some errands to do. But i don't think he minds to jaga our kids if i want to hang out with my friends or go to spa. Just that i jarang tinggal my kids to have my own personal time. Paling kurang pun mesti bawak hero sorang tu as body guard. And yes, he can and always willing to take care of the kids. Full points for that! 
  • Hmmm..ayat puji memuji wife ni memangla husband i takkan cakap punyalah, unless letak pistol kat kepala kot. Hahahaha. He is not the type of guy yang rendahkan ego tu puji perempuan. It was one of the reasons i attracted to him last time (because i hate lelaki jiwang yang suka puji perempuan). But now that i am his wife, nak jugak dengar ayat puji dari die. It means something if it comes from husband because only Allah knows how i'll do anything to please him. Kalau kutuk memang no.1 la. Nyampah i!
  • Macam point kat atas. He would never utters those word to me. Kalau dia cakap mungkin i akan cek dua tiga kali kot pasal takut dia demam ke apa ke. Mungkin one day i will hear this words from him because maybe now i may not be the best wife for him yet! But, i really hope i am! Am i?
Okla saja je buat points ni for fun. Nanti my husband keluarkan pulak point die, terkesima i! I am not a perfect wife to begin with but i am trying to be one, atleast an ideal one for my husband. Afterall he is my husband, i accept him for what he is. There is a quote i once read 'If you have 100 criteria for your partner, you can at least tick for yourself 99 of them". We are human with flaws. May we always improving for the better. 

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

How To Be Likeable

Some people are simply not likeable kan? Something about them yang annoying and simply cannot tahan by others. Some do not even realized they are not likable or wondering what's wrong that others don't like them. For me, i think i am quite likeable. Not to brag but so far i don't have problem with others around me. Taktaula kot ada yang mengata belakang but i can safely say no, i don't have that problem. Those yang penah mengata belakang (which i knew about it eventually) are the one that do not know me well or tak penah pun rapat dengan i. Contohnya kalau i first masuk keja orang cakap i ni eksyen or something (due to my smugly face), tapi bila dah kenal kamceng pulak dah. If you know me, you'll eventually will like me..hahahaha. Perasan sungguh!

Through school, varsity and work life memang i am surrouded with friends yang awesome gila. No drama what so ever pasal i tak suka you tak suka i. We compramise & have tolerant with each other. I even won The Most Outgoing Senior at my school due to my versatility to mingle with everybody. I don't care about your race, religion, background, style or whatever, as long as you tak annoying dan poyo i akan friend-friend dengan you. Tak suka drama or like to create one, hate it! I ni kalau berkawan malas nak take personal on anything. Even if you might talk bad about that person, i won't take it hard and still be friend with that person without any prejudice unless i personally experience it from them.

I believe to be likeable is not a skill learned, you can't fake it. It is your personality and how you act or response to your surroundings. But how to be likebale? Here are some points that can help you:

1) Don't be negative. Nothing puts me off than a negative person. Apa kita cakap or suggestions yang diberi ada ja ayat potong yang dikeluarkan. Lama-lama sure orang dah nyampah. A negative person effects the mood of people around you tau. So macam mana lah orang nak suka you kan?

2) Be attentive to others. Friendship is not only about you, mostly about others. Kalau kawan you tu bercerita avoid la divert conversations tu to be about you instead. I ada kenal sorang ni, kalau orang bercerita especially about something great about herself this person mesti ada tunjuk one kind of mimik muka mcm tak suka. Entahla kenapa dia perlu macam tu. Then she will either give no response to the good story, or just give a short emotionless comment or even worse change the topic to be about her. Haih..susah orang yang ada penyakit hati macam ni. Be happy for others and they will do the same for you too. Tak rugi pun kan?

3) No expectations. Kalau berkawan, when you do any favour, may it be involving money or kind gestures, please dont expect any in return or give high expectation that the other person will do the same to you one day. Buatlah dengan ikhlas kerana Allah, pasti Allah akan balas dengan cara lain. For example if you help A, but one day when you got problems don't expect A to do the same, but insyaAllah B or C or D will help you. Have faith in Allah, for He will send help to you in any way or form He desires, just be sincere. I selalu amalkan ni, and Alhamdulillah tak pernah ada problem yang takde siapa sudi tolong or susah nak settle. People will be comfortable to be with you if you just be neutral and expects nothing from them.

4) Moody. Kalau ada masalah kat rumah or takde duit or runsing jangan terbawak-bawak sangat. Sampai effect mood orang lain. Geram dengan laki kat umah, datang keja muka masam hempas-hempas barang tunjuk perasaan. Orang yang tak bersalah langsung terus efek dengan mood bangang you tu. Please don't do that, kesian your friends. Or you buat muka masam bad mood, diam sepanjang hari macam satu dunia dah buat salah dengan you. Your problem is yours, you want to let it out, share with your friends. Kalau taknak share jangan hukum diorang terpaksa tahan dengan your immature attitude. Like me, i jenis yang boleh 'On' & 'Off' my feelings so that i tak effect orang lain dan orang tak tanya kenapa. For me, thinking and dragging about one problem doesn't solve anything. Either you do something about it or let it slip away. Orang memang benci nak tengok muka bad mood you tu because most probably orang tak kisah pun apa masalah you, all they want is for you to just get out from their face.

5) Kecik hati or sensitive. Haih..orang macam ni memang susah.How la to expect people to like you if you take personal of anything people might say to you. Kita berkawan dengan ramai, different background & personality. Janganla expect semua ni jenis nak jaga hati you because sometime diorang tak tahu pun you sensitif. I grow up with family that make fun and throw harsh comments on each other. Dah numb dah nak amik hati or being sensitive. I only sensitive with my husband which is totally fine because he suppose to adore and love me (hahaha). So my advise is, tolong jangan terasa sangat dan faham. Kalau benda remeh temeh pun nak terasa tak tentu pasal, chances is even your love ones pun akan bosan eventually, lets avoid that ya!

I bagi 5 points je la. Actually banyak lagi, but those are the utmost important keys on being likable by others. Ha one more thing, don't try too hard to please others so that you are more likable. Like i told you, you can't fake it, sampai bila you nak fake to please others if you tak sincere kan? Change attitude, nilai diri sendiri, kalau ada seorang lagi tak suka mesti ada beberapa orang lagi yang tak suka cuma diorang tak kejam nak tunjuk. My principle is, kalau hidup nak senang jangan amik kisah hal remeh temeh yang menyusahkan diri and be positive.

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