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Tuesday, January 3, 2017

2017 & My 2 Schooling Kids

Happy New Year everyone. Whatever your hopes & dreams for 2017, i hope the year serves you well. My 2016 was ok. No drama, just me being work from home mom a.k.a slaves to my kids. It is a tiring  & undervalued job but i do enjoy taking care of my kids full time. Memang la letih dan hidup kelam kelibut ikut kerenah anak, but at least i have more time for my kids untuk masak dan personally monitor their studies. Kalau melawak kata i nak kerja balik, menjerit2 diorang macam suruh terjun lombong. Hahahahaha.....

To get organize ofcourse la one has to own a planner kann.

For 2017 i want to be organize. You know la, stay at home with a baby i can't really track time, kejap je masa dah berlalu. So this year i want to be more organize. I want to slip some time for exercise (dekat rumah je) & reading. I also want to keep track of my expenses. Selalu sangat draw duit, sometime tak tahu mana peginya duit tu, padahal duduk rumah je. And finally i want to be a better muslim. Sejak ada baby i hardly had time to recites Quran, kekadang rasa bersalah sangat. Dulu almost every night akan baca. Bila ada baby selalau baca sekerat dah dengar Aidan nangis kena la stop, pastu tutup simpan terus. Kena gak curi time, dapat baca 2 pages pun jadila kan.


This year my 2 kids dah sekolah. Dania standard 1 and Adam standard 4. Sorang sekolah pagi, sorang petang. So my jadual starts early this year. No more bangun lewat (FYI, i am not a morning person). Ada orang suka time anak ke sekolah, ada orang suka time musim anak cuti skolah. For me, i prefer anak cuti sekolah pasal tak kalut sangat nak masak & siap kan diorang ke sekolah. Every house chores has to revolves around their schooling time. Sometime nak gi office pun kena tunggu anak balik sekolah or gi skolah dulu. So i prefer cuti sekolah.

Dania's first day schooling was okay. No tears, in fact she was excited. Already made some friends. I hope she likes school. Kita tengok pulak anak perempuan ni study lagu mana pulak. Anak laki tau dah, keja nak main je..relax & cool. Kalau bab study kena push macam kita yang nak exam.

Oh and i also want to update my blog more. Eh macam banyak je nak buat kan. Eksyen je lebey, in the end, apa pun tak settle. Hahahaha...


Saturday, November 26, 2016

Baby No.3

My third baby already 6 month old, baru la mak dia nak terhegeh-hegeh nak update blog kan. Well, taking care of baby is handful you know. Plus i always at home being slaves to my 3 kids mana la ada masa nak duduk depan laptop karang cerita. Nak check email pun susah oiiii...



My baby was born on 2nd May 2016, around 7pm (lupa exact time). That day was labour day replacement leave (labour day on 1st May, which fell on Sunday), so my husband ada kat rumah. The night before entah nape memang dah tak boleh tidur, tak sakit pun but i couldn't sleep till about 4am kot. That day about 9am i nak gi breakfast dengan my mother, she came few days earlier to take care of me during confinement. Suddenly terasa macam kejang below my abdomen, where you feel period paid. Time dok pikir aik, tak kan dah contraction kot. I was on my 38th weeks, last time i deliver my daughter also on 38th week. I igonore je sakit tu, pegi je breakfast. Tapi time breakfast tu memang dok makin kerap rasa sakit, every 15min macam tu. Balik rumah husband tanya nak gi hospital ke? Actually that day i dah plan nak gi lunch rumah my cousin, so i cakap kat husband after lunch sana kita terus gi hospital because i also taknak kena tahan lama kat wad, boleh lagi tahan sakit ni.

Dah sampai rumah my cousin around 2pm, the pain became intense. Tengah sembang pun boleh chup jap pasal nak tahan sakit. My cousins gelak je tengok i berkerut tahan sakit. Gigih jugak la makan. Sedap lauk dia oiii..pantang nanti takleh melantak sukati dah. Habis makan, i mintak permission my cousin nak mandi kat rumah dia sebelum serah diri kat hospital. After bath terus mintak diri pasal dah sakit sangat and jarak contraction pun makin dekat.

Admitted hospital around 5pm. Nurse check dah buka 4cm, katanya dinding rahim dah lembut. After my doc pecahkan air ketuban tu, bermula la detik meronta-ronta atas katil tahan sakit yang setengah mati. Pegang besi katil punya la kuat pasal nak tahan sakit. Bila time nak teran keluar i dah jadi letih. That time dok pikir kalau doc nak operate pun i bagi je pasal tak larat dah teran. So doc keluar la mesin vacum to expediate the process. Alhamdulillah akhirnya keluar jua anak lelaki ku yang bernama Aidan Amir dengan berat 3.1kg. Tak terkata leganya setelah keluar. Really, birthing experience is really really special. Sebab tu la para ibu memang terasa sangat kalau anak buat lebih kurang kat dia kann. Eh sebak plak dok type ni.



Syukur Alahamdulillah, Aidan dilahirkan dengan sihat. Dah nak masuk 7 bulan dan dia tak pernah sakit or demam. Mungkin pasal kali ni dapat directly breasfeed him fully and personally jaga dia sepenuh masa. Kita tengok hasilnya nanti, ada beza tak Aidan ni yg dijaga sepenuhnya by me dan kakak & abangnya yang dijaga pengasuh. Apa pun, harap jadila insan yang terbaik dan membanggakan ibu bapa. Amiiiinnnn..

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Miscarriage Experience

Sebelum ni i pernah janji nak cerita pasal my miscarriage kan? It was one memorable experience for me. I was actually kind of traumatized by it. It was nothing like what i expected i would feel, physically or emotionally. That is why i want to make a post in my blog, untuk kenangan and sharing. Expect this post to be a really looooong one. Kalau rajin baca la ye.

Me and husband been trying for baby no.3 for more than a year, since my second daughter was 4 years old. My last effort was the ovulation test. With this ovulation detector at least we know when is the right time to consumate. Nak jadikan cerita i finally got pregnant. My period was late, and i was in process of moving house. I was ecstatic when i found out i was pregnant, i think dah dekat 2 bulan time tu. Since we were busy nak pindah rumah, i delayed appointment with doctor. Lagipun fikir awal lagikan, bukan nampak apa pun, i was fine on my last 2 pregnancy so i was confident with the 3rd one.

Bezanya pregnancy ni is the nausea. Mual, muntah and tak lalu makan. And i lost weight. Mungkin jugak sebab stress pindah rumah. I was thinking that time, nausea is a good sign. Means the baby is ok. How wrong i was kannn??

Now come my first pregnancy check ups. I was 3 months plus that time. But the scan showed i was only at 6 weeks. And no heartbeat or movement. Just a sight of the sac. Being positive, doctor said maybe it was too early. Next appointment is another 2 weeks, to see whether there is any development. He didn't mention about the baby not being there, thus both of us never thought it would happen. We still think i was pregnant, only miscalculated the period and it was too early.

Ni contoh empty sac yang nampak time scan.

Then came the bleeding. I was at work, in a toilet lepas basuh i wipe with tissue and i saw some stains on it. It was light colored blood. Macam lendir pun ada. I was panicked. What can it beeee???? Haritu rasanya dekat 10x masuk toilet kot nak check. Everytime i wipe there is blood, tapi takdela banyak macam darah menstrual tu. Told my husband, dia cakap mungkin temporary je kot. Yes sometime it happens during early pregnancy, i googled it. Tapi hati mana tak risau kan. Gundah gulana je rasa, semua kawan yang pernah go through miscarriage i tanya. The worries got really tense after few days when lagi banyak darah keluar. Tapi punyala degil tak pegi jugak jumpa doc. Entahla mungkin i was afraid if my biggest fear is true.

The truth finally known bila visit my doc on next appointment. The scan showed no progess. Only empty sac. No baby inside. Doc cakap 'rumah dah siap tapi baby tak jadi'. Sedihnya time tu. My husband lagila mood berubah because he didn't expect it.  He did not talk much on our way back home. Kenala terima takdir kan. Takde rezeki lagi. Time tu dok fikir aku ni dah ada 2 anak pun feel distraught, how la couple yang belum ada anak rasa kalau miscarriage kan.

Doc bagi options, buat d&c (cuci rahim), tunggu je benda tu turun keluar sendiri or makan pil paksa keluar. Time tu masih lagi terkejut dan blur, i cakap je nak tunggu. So doc suruh wait for 2 weeks. I read that if your body is healthy benda tu akan turun sendiri, its like your body will automatically get rids if the unwanted stuff in your body.

Dalam seminggu tu dah turun darah macam period. One day tu banyak sangat flow dia. I was at work that time. Rasa heavy flow je time tu, terus lari gi toilet nak check. Tengah panjat tangga tu rasa macam meleleh kat kaki. Masuk dalam toilet masyaAllah dah horror keadaan time tu. The blood was soooo many, my pants was drenched with blood. Ada jugak ketulan macam hati ayam berterabur kat lantai toilet. Wahhh....seramnya time tu. Terus minta kat boss nak balik rumah.

Got medical leave for 2 weeks. Alhamdulillah benda tu turun keluar semuanya tanpa perlu go through d&c. Proses keluar tu took about 1 week, ada hari sakit macam you are having massive period cramp. Tapi sakit lagi contraction nak beranak. So sakit ni takde apa sangat la banding sakit setengah mati nak beranak tu. Hahahaha.

Emotionally i was traumatized and blaming myself. Yela time tu letih pindah rumah, angkat barang and cuci rumah semua. Doc said it wasn't because of that. Tapi tetap rasa bersalah. The experience memang takleh lupa. But takdela trauma sampai taknak buat anak dah.

Nak jadi cerita, lepas 1st period after miscarriage tu i got pregnant again. Means 2 months after my miscarriage. This time memang hati-hati la. Awal2 lagi dah gi jumpa doc. And now i am 32weeks pregnant and my edd is on 17th May. I am expecting another boy. Please pray for us ya.

Tak sabar nak tunggu new baby. This is his blanket that i knit myself.